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HOLDEN BEACH, NC (WWAY) — A Brunswick County man who claims he was abused is speaking out on behalf of all men who fall prey to domestic violence.

Mike Elks’s front door is barely hanging on, and he says it’s because his girlfriend busted through it Thursday night and punched him in the eye.

“I feel kind of stupid standing here on TV with a black eye ’cause a woman beat me up, but it needs to be taken care of,” Elks said.

Elks said his black eye is from the fist of his ex-girlfriend, who he dated for three years. He said it’s the first time she had ever hit him.

“I asked her to please leave. She was in one of her moods,” Elks said. “I put her outside, and she come through the door, and that’s when this happened.”

He claims he doesn’t know what exactly he did to provoke the hit, but he does know one thing: he believes there needs to be a shelter for men who fall victim to domestic abuse. Elks said when the police came to take his abuser away, they gave him a packet that contained information geared mostly toward women.

Director of Hope Harbor Home Domestic Violence Shelter in Brunswick County Lynn Carlson said there are resources for men, but they are not as advertised, because most abuse calls do come from women.

“Hope Harbor Home generally has about one request for help for men for about every 120 requests that we have for help for a woman,” Carlson said. “There is a stigma among men about asking for help, and there’s a shame attached that we wish weren’t there.”

Carlson said everyone has a right to feel safe. She said Hope Harbor Home, like most shelters in the area, do not allow men to live on site, but they can help abused men get to a safe place and also provide legal help.

“Assault is a crime,” Carlson said. “No matter who assaults who, it’s still a crime. It’s still a violent crime, and it’s not OK.”

Carlson added that an assessment is done when a man calls for help, because some men are actually abusers just looking for their victims.

Elks said his abuse was very real, and he thinks there are other male victims who also need help.

“There needs to be a place where a man can go to get away, because a man is not allowed to hit a woman,” Elks said. “It’s just something that needs to be done, a situation that needs to be taken care of.”

If you are a victim of domestic violence and need help, contact police immediately.

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17 Comments on "ONLY ON 3: Abused man speaks out"

2015 years 10 months ago

My brother, attacked by his alcoholic wife for years, the children would dial 911 for him, the 16 and 17 year old sons told the officers their father never touched their mother, but she had stabbed him and hit him over the head with a iron skillet. My brother was taken to jail, not the wife. The local yocals in Brunswick County told the children women did not abuse men. Many times EMT went to the house, my brother was the only one with injuries due to her stabbing him in his sleep. Unfortunately for his family, my brother’s pride kept him from filing complaints, his pride kept him from asking for help. His pride made him ask his children to keep their secret. His children kept the secret until 2008 when they moved here to Wilmington, one night they couldn’t stop the bleeding due to so many stab wounds,the EMTs were called and he was taken to NHRMC. Fortunately for him that was the last time he was abused…he never came to to tell the law officials his wife attacked him and again local yocals did not believe the children. SO YES REALLY MEN DO GET ABUSED. I APPLAUD THIS GENTLEMAN FOR HAVING THE GUTS TO COME FORWARD. HE KNEW HE WOULD HAVE TO FACE PEOPLE LIKE YOU…REALLY.

2015 years 10 months ago

A shelter for men, really? Here’s the answer…. YEAH, DARNED RIGHT.

I applaud the courage of the gentleman who is the subject of this article for coming forward and telling all of us that is is not only MEN who may be violent.

Violent and abusive women should spend a night in the jailer’s hospitality just as violent men should too.

2015 years 10 months ago

There are men in relationships with abusive women who are have no savings, are unemployed and/or are living on social security disability who need emergency shelter in order to escape abusive partners.
Put yourself in the shoe’s of a man who is unemployed/living on disability, has a couple of children and an alcoholic wife who uses household objects (including knives and scissors)as weapons when she gets in a rage. Also consider that you have told no one about her verbal and physical attacks because you are a guy…according to male stereotyping you should be able to “handle your woman” and who would believe you? However, you were brought up to protect women and never hit a girl/woman.
Then when you finally get the guts to call the local domestic violence shelter program (even though the name of the program is, “Battered Women’s Safe Haven) to seek some guidance the person on the other end of the phone gives you the number to a local batterer’s/anger mgt program (for you because you are a man so you must be the abuser) or she tells you, “we don’t help men,” and hangs up.
YES shelter for men REALLY. Jan Elizabeth Brown, Founder and Director, Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, http://www.dahmw.org

Das Weibstück
2015 years 10 months ago

Guest7969 you are a jerk. Feel lucky you have never had to deal with an abusive woman. I guess you are the big man who can physically control women? Yeah, you keep thinking that, you have to sleep some time.

This man was brave to come forward with this story. Many men suffer in silence because of other men like you making fun of a very serious situation.

2015 years 10 months ago

I REALLY don’t know what to say or where to begin here….while I would never hurt a woman unless she had a gun…I would put her on her rear end and hold her there until she calmed the heck down…a SHELTER for men…REALLY!?

2015 years 10 months ago

When it comes to domestic violence men do not have the option of saying, “I was defending myself against her physical attacks on me.”
So it’s quite possible that him “putting her outside” was this guy’s way of keeping himself safe from further attack and possibly having to go to jail for defending himself.
Not everyman who is physically attack by a woman hits back…non abusive men know that because they are stronger they could do serious damage and again many men are brought up to believe you don’t hit a girl/woman for any reason.

2015 years 10 months ago

I find it interesting how he said he “put her outside” hhhmmm….

2015 years 10 months ago

I’m not from the south, so from time to time I have to ask people that are about certain expressions I am unfamiliar with. I have heard on numerous occasions “put her out” “put it out” “put him out” as translation to asked her/him to leave or demanded her/him to leave. I could be wrong, but I think he was just saying he kicked her out of the house in the non-physical sense…however, I could be wrong.

2015 years 10 months ago

I appauld you for having the courage to come forward. Abuse is never ok, regardless of the sex.

Guest Bubba
2015 years 10 months ago

This used to be all about men beating their wives.

No more! But, I must say that if I had a wife who hit me- I would knock her on her ass.

2015 years 10 months ago

I am not so sure that a man cannot defend himself from an attack from a woman. If she came at him with a weapon, he would have the right to shoot her if he was armed. Since she was not armed, I think he still could have used sufficient force to avoid injury. Good thing for her she attacked him instead of me.

2015 years 10 months ago

Just as it is wrong for a man to strike a woman, it is wrong for a woman to strike a man. Whoever crosses that line does so at his or her own peril.

I can positively gurantee that I will use the force necessary to stop an assault upon my person, regardless of your gender.

It’s all about gender equality, remember? Don’t cross that line and then claim that you’re a fragile female.

another abused man
2015 years 10 months ago

I have been repeatedly accused of abuse by an ex spouse. I have been repeatedly taken to jail on false chsrges. Even after trial and found innocent, nothing ever happens to my ex spouse. She has choked me, hit me, given false testimony and there is no consequence for her actions. The local police, when called, say they do not want to get involved. I am not the only man I know that this has happened to. Men do not have equal protection under the law. Legislators should take a close look at the upper hand they have given angry females.

2015 years 10 months ago

If she’s your EX-wife, how does she have so many opportunities to assault you? I don’t care if there are kids involved, for God’s sake, take control of your life, man!

Pick the kids up in the driveway or make her do the same. Don’t be in the same room with her.

When you’re assaulted, you don’t call the police, you go to the magistrate and swear out a warrant. The police can’t do anything on a msidemeanor they didn’t witness.

There’s nothing weak or embarrassing about a man getting assaulted by a female. There is something TERRIBLY wrong, however, with a man who lets it happen again and again.

2015 years 10 months ago

Michael Elks is a liar he does hit womman and WWAY should do back ground checks on people that they choose to do interviews on,I cant believe that he is gonna say that he has never hit a woman yeah right I am sure there was an arguement about something that night that took place maybe he should try talking care of his son and karma wouldnt come to him LOL I hope she beats his a** again and again and again just like he did my mother for years…really Boo who Mike are you serious glad to see you cleaned ur self up and the porch up for the tv crew came JURK!!!!!!!!!!

2015 years 10 months ago

There was once, a “Good Guy” that ran a legal Aid/Advice/Shelter for Men, awhile in Brunswick Co. , During the early to mid-90’s.
He had plenty of Problems getting and acquiring funding,thus He closed.

Abusive Women are No Joke… It’s a bigger problem than you realize. Though, “Men” being Men, don’t wanna be talked about around the Water Cooler, that he was “beat” by a woman..

Then you have these “Second Set of books”, where-as anything YOU Do, in defending yourself, WILL result in your A-zz being taken to the Pokey…
law Enforcement are trained, that it’s 99.9 % the *MANS* fault. Enforced by the Femi-Nazi’s that have taken over America. (One faction anyway).
Are Gender-Biased when it comes to Domestic issues in America Today.
The MAN doesn’t stand a chance..
I know this for a FACT.
I was Married to and was abused for 9 years, by a Woman….
look up the term.
“Second Set of Books”…

rwood boy
2015 years 10 months ago

I agree..there should be some kind of help for men. However, we live in a double standard world where the law takes side with women when it comes to domestic violence. I was in a situation similar to that. I ran away from my ex hitting me with a frying pan…when i was cornered, I pushed her off of me defending myself. Instead of arresting her..they took me to jail. They kicked me out of my own house, faced jail time, fees/fines, not to mention scaring my name forever. Got to remember that women are the “victims” in domestic violence no matter what. Even if they lie, you will lose. This guy should run far away from this woman if he has any sense.


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