Dear City Council,
Here is a list of how I believe you can save the city money by cutting the budget, thus not have to raise my taxes:
Fire: do we really need all of these stations and truck, come on really? How often do they actually spend time responding to a call. Why not make them all volunteer, and we can all rely on the kindness of our fellow citizens to help out in a fire emergency.
Police: Do we really need police cruising the streets 24/7. How often do they actually prevent/stop a crime that they see while patroling? Make it 100% call response system. If it takes more time for them to respond from the station, so be it, I can wait.
Storm water: Do we really need maintenance and additions to the system. How often do pipes really break or streets flood?
Trash collection: Do we really need them picking up trash at my curb twice a week. I can just take my trash in my car down to the dump, as necessary.
Parks: What do we really need parks for. Ain't nothing but a place for hoodlums and no-good-scum to hang out. Stop maintaning them, just let the trees and bushes and grass grow up, who cares about green space.
Streets: Who cares if you think we need to maintain our city roads, and fix pot holes, replace light bulbs, and broken fixtures. Let them just keep deteriorating, it will make driving more of an adventure.
Seriously, do we really need to have these extravagant expenses in our city.
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