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Having Kids at 18

Years ago it was common and normal but then again most people were more emotionally and mentally mature at 18. They knew they were adults and acted like it. My grandparents got married at 19 and my uncle (their oldest) did 2 and had kids around 19-20 but that was a different time in society. Now people are too immature usually to be able to handle the responsibility of having kids and having to take care of yourself let alone an innocent helpless child. Im 37 now and believe me I look back to a scare I Had when I was 19 and glad she ended up not being pregnant because I definitely wasnt ready to be a father. I would have done what I needed to do and done the right thing but whats worse is soo many boys try to be men and then cant hold up their responsibility to take care of their children and step up and support them and be there for them anymore. The fact that a majority of African American children grow up in single parent homes is a shame and borders on criminal. The thug mentality is at the root of it and even supposed ROLE Models do nothing to help it whenyou have professional atheletes out there with 6 or 7 or more kids with multiple mothers of the kids it just isnt conducive to whats normal in most societys. Kids need to grow up in 2 parent homes and the fathers need to be held responsible for their parental acts, in otherwards if your man enough to sleep with a woman and not take precautions then you better or need ot be man enough to step up to the responsibility of your actions if something comes of it. Nothing burns my rear more then a man who dont live up to his responsibilites to his children (guess what when you have kids they come 1st on the priority list NOT you, not your buddies, your kid COMES 1st!!!) if you dont like it then dont have them or take the chance of it happening. On the flip side these women need to be held responsible also for their shameless actions, sure some girls end up in bad situations because some guy cons them but when you end up with 5 kids from 4-5 different fathers or worse then you need to show some self-control (and while Im not an advocate for legal sterilization as its not legal and never would stand up) I think the threat to cut these peoples financial gravy train off or reduce it or at minimum REFUSE to increase payments in order to get more money (which many of them do). Welfare, TANF WIC are all designed to be temporary programs to help those in need temporarily they are not designed to be permenant fixtures in people lives and worse off fixtures for generations. Many of us were happy to see Welfare reform. I personally have no problem helping a young mother out with help with food and other costs such as babysitting while they go back to school to get good work skills and even learn a career skill to be able to support their families but I know personally in some cases these programs are actually throwing up roadblocks for those young ladies that try to do just that. When I was in Nursing School back several years ago I know of a couple classmates who were trying to do just that and got nothing but grief for tryng to better themselves and literally change their lives and their childrens lives for the better but yet Social Services took odd stances that in one case forced a classmate to quit and change her schedule to make it take longer because suddenly they didnt want to pay for her babysitting so she had to switch classes to night because of it. When the system that should be advocating eventually independence does nothing but impede peoples attempts to do that just baffles me other then to suggest that people in Social Services responsible for providing services fear that people becoming independent might lead to them cutting their funding and risking their own jobs becuase of lowering case loads. This I fear is the root truth. While claiming to advocate for their clients to better themselves they in fact want them to remain dependent on the system not only to provide job security for the social workers but to help maintain the bloated beaucracy that is the Federal Beast known as DHHS (Trust me DHHS is without a doubt the most bloated overbearing overbudgeted agency int he Federal Government and I worked there for 2 yrs on Govt contract in my days gone by as a IT contractor and DHHS is the overseer for all the big budget pots (Social Security, TANF, WIC, the FDA, Surgeon General, CMS aka Medicare/Medicaid, and thats just some of the biggest off the top of my head). As I said Im not some right wing loon that screams cut off all handouts. We need programs to help out those in need but they shouldnt become a permenant crutch they need to go back to being what they are intended to be Temporary assistance to help people get back on their feet instead of a life long source of income for many folks who are and able to work but choose not to do so.

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