There is NO event whatsoever that would cause a mature, rational, stable adult to start whittling on his arms with a razor blade.

You are being viewed as a laughingstock and fool by the very people who elected you. Ask yourself this question: "If I ran for election today, how many of those who voted for me would be there now?"

You KNOW the answer.

Please try to regain one gram of your dignity and honor, do the right thing and resign.