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It's not his fault

Possible defense strategies:

1. It's caused by all the air polutants coming from the Reiglewood paper mill. The wind was blowing in the wrong direction.

2. He was merely preparing to apply some life saving techniques as he thought she was having a heart attack.

3. He was preparing for his role in Carolina Shore which will be the spinoff when Jersey Shore cast and crew relocate to North Carolina now that New Jersey has taken away some of the tax incentives. He mistook the victim for Snookie. Stay tuned when they all apply and are admitted to BCC or CFCC.

4. He thought she was a German representative for Continental Tire and he was trying to build a relationship the county could work on.

Those are my 4 options for the defense.

Or he could just deny everything. It wasn't me; I didn't do it.

There must be something in the air or water in Brunswick County.

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