I am praying for you, KMA, that Cod would allow His Holy Spirit to move in a powerful and mighty way in your life by pouring His convicting power down upon you so much that you would not know what else to do but to turn to Him. You are one of Gods children and He cares for you no matter how much you blasphem Him. He will always be there for you in the tough times and the good times. I feel that you are getting ready to go through the roughest time in your life and will face many trials and tribulations, however, it is YOUR choice how you respond and who you turn towards. It will be simple, Heaven or Hell, YOUR choice but I choice Heaven!!!