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Ace reporter Bob Gotcha interviews the Mayor

(Note: This piece is entirely fictional. Any resemblance to any actual mayors is purely coincidental and is not to be construed as anything even resembling reality, unless of course you happen to accidentally make that connection yourself in your own mind.)

- “Thanks for consenting to this interview Mr. Mayor.”
- “No problem, and thank you again for agreeing to meet me in Ethiopia where the voters probably can’t find me, or laugh at me or make remarks about my hair. Next time, some other country though. You know you just can’t find any decent hairspray anywhere in Ethiopia?”
- “Is it true that this hotel deal is actually now complete?”
- “Bob, I’ve told you guys that a million times! Why don’t you ever believe me? “
- “Well, Mr. Mayor, maybe it’s because every time you say that, it turns out to not be the case.”
- “Doesn’t the fact that I’ve repeated it so many times count for anything? That’s just soooo unfair!”
- “How about all of that EB5 exemption stuff that was holding things up back in mid-January? What’s happening with that? Has that all been straightened out?”
- “I don’t know what you’re talking about. That wasn’t me. That was probably said by someone who just happens to look and sound exactly like me!”
- “Mr. Mayor, in mid-January, you specifically said that was what was what was holding up the deal.”
- “Uhhh ….. I don’t exactly recall saying that ….. I think ….. Maybe ….. Sort of …..”
- “OK, moving on ….. Harmony’s press release says that they still have to complete both the purchase agreement and the development agreement. Doesn’t that mean the deal is actually not complete at this time?”
- “Well sure Bob, if you’re if you’re gonna get all nitpicky about it, that could possibly maybe mean something allegedly like that …. But I don’t seem to recall exactly ….. Maybe …. Sort of ….. “
- “Doesn’t the City’s current agreement state that there’s an April 30th deadline?”
- “Well, that could be maybe sort of true, but that’s only if you’re using actual numbers I think …. Hey, did I tell you how great a job we did on getting that whole overhang issue fixed with the new plans a couple of months ago?”
- “OK, moving on ..… again ….. Harmony’s announcement also stated that they’re including a full service restaurant and 6600 square feet of meeting space. Doesn’t that directly compete with the facilities already at the Convention Center, diminishing the paltry amount of revenue it’s currently receiving?”
- “They are? ….. Why would they go and do that? ….. Boy, that wouldn’t make any sense at all!”
- “Again, Mr. Mayor, what is your response to that question?”

(A three minute pause)

- “Wow, all of these questions are making me really hungry! Hey, how about I take you out to eat? I’ve got a pocket full of tax dollars in my expense account we can spend somewhere! What do you think? I know, how about Ethiopian food? …………….. “


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