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here is an alternative

"...the board files an amotion..." Some type of legal proceeding in which the Board makes a filing; hearings are held; testimony taken; and a Judge issues a ruling.

In this case, it appears the Board would prefer to avoid taking action more ardently than Brer Rabbit avoided the Tar Baby.

Other alternatives might be:

Find Brian a wealthy woman with low expectations

Sign Brian up as the Port City's Baseball ambassador

Have Brian annointed as His Royal Majesty, Brian I of Masonboro. Helicopter he and his dog to the island. Weekly drop off non-perishable food items. Relieves him of the need to shave, consistent with some photos. Removes him from the Roadways and the need to maintain auto insurance.

Appoint Brian as the County's Court Jester

Find a viable and electable candidate and beging promoting him now.

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