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Several Libertarians injured during (alleged) door scuffle.

Several Libertarians were slightly injured recently when they all tried to exit their clubhouse simultaneously during a group panic attack.

Although still visibly shaken, John Q. Public, a long-time member, recounted his experience ...........

"We had heard some talk that Berger was attempting to switch back and we were just about to vote in a new "no-take-backsy clause" when the Board of Elections notified us it was already too late. I can't even begin to describe the crazy blind panic that followed! The next thing I remember is all of us running at the same time for the exit in order to get out of there! It was every Libertarian for himself!"”

Three of the members were wedged so tightly into the doorframe a rescue squad had to use a jaws-of-life device to expand the doorframe enough to release them. Although only three of the members were injured physically, a spokesman for the party has informed us that all of them will seek professional counseling for their psychological trauma.

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