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Lazy gun

Here are the results of an experiment I conducted recently regarding how guns kill people. I had to see it for myself.

Today, I swung my front door wide open and placed my Ithaca model M-87 Featherlite 12 gauge shotgun right in the middle of the doorway. I placed 6 double-0 shotgun shells right next to it. Then I noticed that my shotgun had no legs, so I placed it in a wheelchair to help it get around. Then, I left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on my shotgun. I was surprised to see it was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn't rolled itself outside and it certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself.

Now, you can well imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how guns kill people. Either the media is wrong and it's the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest shotgun in the world.

Well, so much for my lazy shotgun. Now I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat. I want to find out how they do that.

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