Guys like are laughable and pathetic all at the same time. Anyone who's not a killer, like you define yourself to be, is a yellow bellied sissy according to your very warped way of processing thought. Personally, I've always found guys who keep having to refer to themselves as uber-military killers are either full of crap or damaged meat. For the most part, the really tough guys who're still undamaged don't brag about it.
Whichever one of those you are, I hope you can get some help and find some peace.
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