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Gay As A Choice? The Bomb

Some of us gay people have heard a plethora of beliefs about being gay, homosexual, f*g, whatever you want to call us. It really doesn't matter what word you choose. Many think that being gay is somehow a choice but it isn't. Apparently the principal of the school mentioned in the blog thinks so. I am glad he resigned. Maybe now they can focus on getting someone with some level of maturity and acceptance. Many of you think that being gay is a choice. What you fail to realize is that being gay for some has brought with it much scorn, persecution, bullying from peers in school, suicidal tendencies, depression, very low self esteem due to rejection by peers in school. So I really want to choose to be gay so that I can go through all of that? Of course not. I ask you straight people : when did you choose to be straight? At what point in your life did you wake up and say, " I think that I will be straight."? Many gay men and women, including myself, chose to stay quiet about our sexual orientation as it has no bearing on anyone else whatsoever just as a straight person's sexual orientation has no impact on anyone. That is not to deny that there are still some problems with sexual harassment in places but that is totally unrelated to sexual orientation. I happened to be one of those quiet men about my sexual orientation. I did not want to be treated any differently amongst the fine group of men and some women I work with. A co-worker who happened to be way too curious about my life chose to spread the rumor once the "cat" was out of the bag. I do not favor fraternization nor mixing any part of my private life with my public safety work. I do not believe nor endorse the hiring of anyone based on anything but ability to do the job - PERIOD! I do not ask for special treatment nor to be looked upon any differently due to my same-sex attraction. All I want is to be treated as an equal. Our Declaration Of Independence states that all men are created equal. There is no favoritism nor discrimination in that statement. The reaction I have received in the work place has been anything from whispers of disapproval from some to full acceptance by others. Their life may one day depend on me to save them and my life may one day depend on them to save mine. I love and have loved the fine people I work with. I believe in my heart of hearts that they are some of the finest you will find to work with. Aggravating at times? Yes, but so am I. The majority of them know realize that I am the same guy they knew the day before I was pulled out of the closet as the day after I was forced out. I have approached this issue in my workplace in a very professional manner and have talked it out with many there. To the ones that I have been able to have a frank conversation with about "the bomb" I have acknowledged that we all have the same goal in mind, regardless of where we come from or who we are. That goal is to save life and property and to make it safely home the next day after a long 24 hour shift. If anyone has a problem with my sexual orientation at this point then it is their problem, not mine. I no longer have a problem with myself as I have come to full acceptance of who I am and I could not be in a better place in knowing myself than I am now. For all of you reading, get this : I tried the ex-gay ministry books and counseling. Ex gay is a myth. I went to a local pastor for help in 1992. I was an avid follower of Christ until some of His followers decided to follow their self-righteous piety and shunned me. I went to two counselors as well. Nothing changed. I prayed, fasted and cried. Still no change. I finally came to realize that I am different from some and that it was not going away. Many think that being gay is all about sexual activity. It isn't. It is also about who I am emotionally attracted to as well. Gay is who I am not what I do. That has been the most difficult thing to get across to men and women. I am a proud father of several children. I am up front and out in the open to them now. They know all about dad and they know that whatever they come to me with, they will always be accepted as my children. I have something that a lot of men, and some women, do not have and that is the unconditional love of my children. I know of many men, both straight and gay that have left their children behind to pursue another woman, a quieter life, another man. Not this guy. I look at my children as they will one day contribute to society and not be a burden to it. You want to raise children up right? Teach them about your faith? You bet. You must also remember, particularly you Christians, that if you don't like gays you still have to love us. You see,in the scripture that you go around preaching and quoting it says "love your enemies...." So if you say you believe in ALL of the Bible you need to practice ALL of the Bible, not just quote it to damn men and women to hell to make you feel more self righteous. I hope you understand my point I am making. Hating and speaking in a derogatory manner about your neighbor is not scriptural at all nor is it in any way spiritual. I know that in that good book you say you believe in that it states who your neighbor is. Some of you would be surprised to discover that. On the issue of gay marriage I do not agree. I do not want the church nor the state dictating to me so I in turn do not see a reason to even remotely be involved with this Americanized Christianity that makes money from preaching hate. If gays went away then ministries such as Dr.James Dobson's as well as the Family Research Council would dry up. They prey on the emotions of the masses. If you want to see the real threat to the family then think about your "godly president" and his policies of sending troops to the Middle East for several consecutive tours while their children continue to suffer for lack of a parent, mom or dad left to fend for the kids, possible foreclosure on a house, children dealing with emotional problems from missing their parent. That is a true threat to the family as we see it. Before you think that I am not in support of our troops or the war on terror then think again. My children's mother will soon be returning to Iraq. I have the children and as before they will once again be fine under my tutelage. I do not consider myself a gay father. I consider myself a dad who just happens to be gay. I have seen no reason to bring this subject up except to make an attempt to educate others. If you cannot open your mind then at least open your heart. The greatest threat to you right ow is not a gay man or woman. Terrorism and a fuel shortage are your greatest threat currently. Lastly, since 1992 over 12,000 service members have been discharged from the military due to the Clinton policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Recently the military lowered their standard and started granting waivers to applicants that have a felony on their records. Yet at the same time they are discharging men and women because if who they are. I served my country in the military honorably. I ended up with a couple of high honors for some things I did while in the Army and was awarded so with two different medals. Retired Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, the first American soldier to be seriously wounded in Iraq, served his country selflessly. He was a closeted gay man. He has been asking for a repeal of the ban on gays in the military. To all of you that believe gays have no place in our American civilization or would like to suppress us because of who we are I implore you - sign up for service. Take these 12,00 service member's places in the ranks and you go fight for your freedom of speech to harass, lampoon, lambaste, persecute or ridicule gay men and women. I just hope you make it out of the war alive. To date in Afghanistan 866 American troops have died. In Iraq 4,113 have perished, in U.S. deaths alone. Some of them were straight, some were gay, some were Christian, some Muslim, some Jewish, some Hispanic, some Italian. War and democracy sees no color, nor heritage, nor gender, nor sexual orientation. What does your democracy do for you? What have you done for it? Freedom is not free. Some people don't find out until it is too late that someone has to pay the price. You can pay it yourself or let someone else. That someone could be a gay man or woman wanting to serve their country honorably. It could be a black man or woman, a Jew, a Muslim. You never know. On July 4 raise your U.S. flags high. Be grateful for your freedom. Cherish it. Remember our military. When you go to the beach wave at the guy carrying the U.S. flag. He cares about his fellow Americans and wants the best for all of you. Happy 4th. Respectfully, Steven (Stevie) Grimsley

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