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Thank goodness!

Thank goodness there is no more crime to be fought in North Carolina! Now we can focus on all of the firework felons shooting those bottle rockets off that almost completely destroyed our entire state last year. And (gasp) all of those spinning wheels that sparkle as the fly up, up and up to a herculean ten feet and blaze back to the earth with a tremendous thud wreaking so much havock... Go get those bad nasty fireworks Mr. Deputy.. Go and get them. Since our beloved law enforcement has rooted out all evil and abolished all crime, it is such a well spent use of time and energy to go and bust those nasty firework hoodlums that roam our streets every night, forcing us to stay inside and lock our doors. I can finally sleep well at night...

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