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Oh...I left out the brain surgeons

...who started a large brush fire on the South spoil island at the entrance to Nixon Channel after they decided to put on an impromptu fireworks show to rival downtown. Gosh, who could possibly have known that flaming rocket exhaust could ignite paper-dry brush? Why should anyone mind if it got so big the Coast Guard had to respond and dispatch a boat with adequate fire-fighting equipment from about two hours away? After all, those people were just "pusuing their happiness." It's their god-given right to burn up an island and blow thousands in taxpayer money, right?

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