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Handling the date rape issue

READ MORE: Handling the date rape issue
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Statistics show out of every 10,000 females, 350 are the victims of date rape. It is a crime that is under reported, which means the number may actually be higher. One local professor is taking steps to raise awareness of the problem of date rape. He specifically wants to encourage women to report it, if it happens to them. UNC Wilmington student “Kay” is hiding her identity for protection. She is a victim of date rape and the perpetrator was a long time friend. "I knew him. He dated some of my other friends. I never knew him to do anything like this he was trust worthy." One weekend that all changed. She believes her male friend slipped a drug into her drink. "I blacked out and pretty much don't have much recollection of what happen. I woke up and he was still on top of me." She fought him off and was able to get away, and she never told anybody about it. UNC Wilmington Professor Jerry Bagnell said embarrassment and disbelief are common reasons why date rape often goes unreported, and he is trying to change that. "This is not something you should be ashamed of because it's not something that you voluntarily got into. No one deserves to be raped." The awareness is leading to more victims coming forward and reporting the crime. "The attitude from college females is this has got to stop, I'm not going to let this happen to a friend of mine." Bagnell said. A grey area often lies in consent. Bagnell says if a woman doesn't say yes, it can be considered rape. "She has to be able to give you her informed consent, which means she needs to be sober, and she needs to be aware of the fact that she's agreeing. A lot of guys with defend their behavior and say well she didn't say no so I thought it was okay." “Kay” eventually came forward about having been date raped in hopes of preventing it from happening to someone else. "Tell people when it happens. Don't be scared because it's your word against his. Don't be scared because he doesn't seem like that type of guy." Professor Bagnell said alcohol does play a role in many date rapes, so the most important thing to remember is that no means no. If you have been a victim of date rape, there are resources to help. Call the UNCW counseling center at (910) 962-3746.

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Crossing gender lines.

And yet another gender biased and bigoted reporting effort. Amazingly, some of the very same arguments could be made about male victims of date rape. But, of course, males are expendable. When we take the gender (or any other segregationist group) out of the equation, we'll start making efforts to actually end the act rather than stigmatizing a whole group or advocating an act when committed against that group. "It is a crime that is under reported, which means the number may actually be higher." Stats are traditionally used to make the occurance against others more "acceptable" or more justifiable or even give a reason to make fun of such victims. "...embarrassment and disbelief are common reasons why date rape often goes unreported, ..." And this is equally true of male victims. Especially since society has for so long make them the target of stereotypes and jokes because, after all, the stats say it doesn't happen to them. But then, it's underreported and considered an acceptable act against males, so how would they show up in the stats. "Don't be scared because it's your word against his. Don't be scared because he doesn't seem like that type of guy." This is very common in rape victims, even in male rape victims because they have society's negative view of the male victim stereotype. "A grey area often lies in consent. " This is true of the male rape victim as well. The forced stereotype that men always want sex and therefore are automatically considered to be consenting to it flies in the face of the very comments Bagnell stated. If women must specifically state "yes", then so too should the requirement that men must say "yes". It's time to end the segregation and bigotry. It's time to end the stereotypes and start workign to end the acts of abuse in all forms, no matter who the victims are and no matter who the attackers are. Andrew

Andrew

Have you been a victim? Everyone of these acticles you have been talking about males can be victims and yes they can but let it go!

I don't need to have been a victim

Do you tell female rape victims to "let it go" when so many articles pop up about rape or abuse? Thank you for proving my point. I have a child that I have to raise in a society that is so bigoted, dishonorable, and unethical that it actually tries to ignore, trivialize, make fun of, and/or justify the abuse of individuals based on gender. We hear so often about "protect the children!' in efforts to ban various forms of media and how horrible the media we expose our children to. But when it comes to actual treatment of our children, it's "big fat hairy deal! Who cares? Get over it!" Time for a change. Time to make the bigots the ostracized guttertrash that they are. Time to make the acts the central focus, not the gender, race, sexuality or other such factor. Andrew