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Issues with child support payments

Submitted by WWAY on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 5:59pm.READ MORE: Issues with child support payments
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On average, parents who were arrested for unpaid child support last year owed just over $2,000. But one mother said she's owed more than 10 times that amount, and the father of her child has already been released from jail. “There should be no reason that he's been put back out on the street, especially if he doesn't have a job,” said single mom Shone Brown. In child support cases it is called the amount needed to purge. No matter how much a person owes, a judge determines how much they have to pay to get out of jail. But Shone Brown said there is no way her son's father, who owes more than $25,000 in back child support, should have been released for just a hundred bucks. “I have to go home, and I have to explain these things to my son, because he knows what's going on,” Brown said. “I don't hide anything from him.” New Hanover County Sheriff's Lieutenant Travis Robinson said letting someone pay less than the full amount in back child support helps them get back into the world. That way they can work and pay back their balance. “Folks staying in the jail facility are not out more or less being productive members of society by earning money to give for the children and for the families based on their obligations,” Lt. Robinson said. In Brunswick County Sheriff John Ingram said he is aware of several inmates in jail because they owe a few hundred dollars in child support. Each inmate costs tax payers about $60 a day. “If we have a warrant on someone who owes whatever in child support, if the warrant is sent to our office we will serve it regardless of the amounts,” Sheriff Ingram said. Brown hopes that message will convince her child's father to live up to his obligations. “I don't need a live-in father to be a good parent, but I need you to help take care of my child,” she said. Lieutenant Robinson said many times a judge will issue a lower amount to purge, if it's the first time someone has been arrested for failing to pay child support. But in other cases, a parent could be forced to pay the full amount before he's released from jail.

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i hate texas

Submitted by i hate texas (not verified) on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 2:58am.

state of texas leting my kid stay with him and i am paying child support to him for his drugs and i havent seen my kid in 7 years

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Child-Support

Submitted by New Guest (not verified) on Mon, 03/28/2011 - 4:24pm.

My ex-husband is over $8,500 behind in child-support and i dont say a thing to my now 7 year old son. We were divorced while my son was 2. My ex has a child-support order to pay $50 a week. Whose fault would it be if my ex works under the table jobs and IF he does get a job that takes taxes out and child-support out he quits within a week? He and his now wife live at home with her grandmother so they dont have to pay bills. I do still let him see his son because Im not about to break the law by breaking the terms that the judge gave us. Ex does everything he can to undermine me and make our son think I am a bad person because I am making him pay. The state has gotten involved and I have nothing to do with whatever warrents or licenses that were taken away. I just think that if you agree to the terms of a child-support agreement then you should carry that agreement out. I dont say anything because I know its just money and I am doing what is right by my son.

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Child Support

Submitted by Guest 2 (not verified) on Mon, 05/17/2010 - 3:03pm.

Women grow up.. If the man is locked up how is he to find a job and pay his child support.. Then when he does find a job he usually can't keep it for now he has a jail record.. Grow up and take resposibility for you have; do the best you can stop depending on men for christ sake..

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i agree

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 4:28am.

A lot of women do depend on men to pay support... I have a 4 year old son and I never took his father to court. My thing if he wanted to be a part of his life and help out then he would, if not i am a strong independent woman and i need not depend on anyone to help. I'm not my ex's mother I wont force him to do what he is not going to do he still needs to grow up he sees his son but I also understand right now he is in a financial setback, so why would i take him for support when he cant even support his self right now all it will do is put him in debt and bury him so he will never be able to help. some people use child support and i said some... as a way of revenge i know this girl who does that she lives off the system and the 2 separate child support orders for her 6 children. its disgusting

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It's not depending on a man.

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Thu, 09/23/2010 - 9:31am.

It's not depending on a man. It's expecting them to take responsibility for their child(ren). It usually takes two incomes these days to maintain a household. Obviously you're on the outside looking in. Everyone doesn't have a 6 digit income. If you're doing what you should why wouldn't you expect the non custodial parent to do the same. You can try to come off as a GI Jane, but the fact is the child needs the support of both parents. Emotionally and financially.

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Then don't get in

Submitted by onlytrue (not verified) on Sat, 09/18/2010 - 12:50pm.

Then don't get in trouble,then you want go to jail,women or man it doesn't matter if you help bring a child into this world,then help support it,NO EXCUSES.

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You're very naive. Have you

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Thu, 09/23/2010 - 9:24am.

You're very naive. Have you seen the unemployment rating lately. There can always be an acception. If you can't find a job then what? And on a broader note. You can get someone arrested for anything in this country whether they have committed a crime or not. All you have to do is accuse someone, their arrested and it goes on their record. Are you serious. So don't get into trouble really doesn't apply, now does it?

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ms dee

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 9:38am.

I agree with the sheriff it shouldnt matter if that man or woman is locked up its costing more money to keep them in and the other party is still not getting the support for the chiildren .My husband has two children in tampa florida and their mom thinks that he shouldnt be taking care of his other kids but in reality no one can see the big picture if he loses a job he can no longer support his self or kids so its best to cause less stress on a person and allow them to gain employment and stabalyze for the childrens sake .

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I am a single mother of 3

Submitted by Guestagain (not verified) on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 4:02pm.
I am a single mother of 3 children who was kicked out of her home with her kids. I work my 40 hours a week at a decent job that still doesn't pay well. I spend every extra penny I have to make sure my babies have clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads, and food in their bellies. I couldn't make ends meet with what I make and the cost of rent and groceries. I had to persue child support for the sake of my babies. I only get the things they need with it, I keep a record of every single thing I buy with the money along with receipts, and whatever I don't spend on them is placed into savings for their college educations or medical needs. I may be a minority as far as all that is concerned but I never spend a dime of their money on myself. I just want people to know that there are decent mothers out there that are doing all they can while still trying to be at home with their kids as much as they can to provide a supportive home. Some of us are good people who just need the support to provide the basic necessities for our children. I also abide by the court's ruling on visitation. As long as their daddy wants to see them, he does. I don't restrict his access to them and he knows he is free to call and check on them/talk to them any day of the week. He and I may not have gotten along while we lived together but I am glad that we can now work together to make sure our kids have both of their parents in their lives. I just wanted to set the record straight for those of us out there that aren't "wasteful women" and those that are paying and aren't "deadbeat dads".
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Money

Submitted by Guest9898 (not verified) on Sat, 10/24/2009 - 8:33pm.
I know a guy that pays well over $1000.00 a month and has his kids as much as his childrens mother. I just dont see it. It doesnt take that much money to raise two kids, especially when he has them just as much as she does. Where is the fairness in that. Seems to me he is supporting her as well. He should have married her I guess.
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Child Support cost

Submitted by POLARIS (not verified) on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 9:08pm.
to Wondering women, Two things that change America was the creation of H.R.S.[ House of Reabilative services] in the 1970s witch included welfare, child support and DCF along with family court they put a monetary value on children, they became worth money, The more children you had the more money you get. after that unwed motherhood sky rocked through the roof. Then in the 1990s the Clintons welfare reform was a lie all it did was shift the burden from the mothers to the fathers and the tax payers, before that any mother who got welfare had to repay it,The Clintons change that now welfare mothers were not responsible any more so they could have as many children as they wanted with no repercussions. The number of welfare cases doubled in less than 10 years with all our birth control for women this is unacceptable unless the women wanted the children and the money that would make this fraud. On September 23,2009 CSN news said that we spent 622 billion on the war sense it started tell then, President Obama is going to spend in 2010 are you ready for this 888 billion dollars in a YEAR on welfare and a increase to a trillion dollars by 2014. All tax payers need to read this. I wish I could email it to all of you, You would not believe it. Please look it up. At the rate we are spending our tax dollars on welfare and child support will be a third world country by the time our children finish high school
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just wondering

Submitted by s (not verified) on Sun, 08/15/2010 - 11:53am.

One reason we are heading for a 3rd world country is because we let the 3rd would country come in illegally. Mexicans do not use birth control. They send money they make back home. Some of the men live with women who are on welfare while they are working. There is so much welfare fraud in this country, it is pitiful.US men do the same thing. They live off of the mother and kids, never marrying. For the rest of them, if they could keep their pants zipped or take responsibility to use birth control, then we would not have so many unwed mothers. Just because a woman is willing doesn't mean he has to participate. Men need to take some responsibility. If he chooses to participate, then he should be responsible for 1/2 of all expenses pertaining to raising of the child. (car, house, light bill, food,etc.) If this happens, then the deficit would not be as much.

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Well hello Polaris

Submitted by Mz Petunia Pigg (not verified) on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:47pm.
Glad to see some of our more "NOT" famous FR/MRA's making the rounds again as usual. We see you and we know what you do. We are everywhere. And to those wondering - what is FR/MRA? Father Rights/Mens Rights Activist-Advocate. These are the types of men who sometimes abuse their wives/girlfriends - mothers of their children, then get angry when those same women get RO's against them and then they (the men) are forced to support the child. What happens then is they set about destroying the woman in any way they can. I know, I watch them and highlight some of the more stupid on my website. To the person wondering about cs and Polaris, you would with a probablity of about 95% be accurate dead on right about him either having to pay support and even more likely that he tries to find ways to aviod doing so. You should see what I see.
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Really?

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Thu, 12/30/2010 - 3:18pm.

I have friends that are constantly being "falsely" arrested by ex's seeking revenge. You must be blind to that. I actually like men, unlike you, and know from personal experience how important fathers are their kids life's and how evil people like you are. You shouldn't be employed in any job with your man hating point of view. Your name says it all.

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Child Support cost

Submitted by POLARIS (not verified) on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 11:17am.
First WHY are you talking about to your son about this? Sounds to me like your are trying to turn your son against his Father, Are you using this to keep this Father away from his son? when was the last time you let the father see his son? Stop brain washing child against his Father! This is child abuse and you should be in jail for this! From what I am reading you jest wont this man in jail for any reason,He is unemployed and probably broke so why do you wont him in jail? It sounds to me like you have a vendetta against this man and you are using child support or any other excuse to put this man in jail. Child Support is a PRIVETE DEBT it is not a tax or a fine so as a tax payer why are we spending untold billions of our tax dollars on the collection of your private debt? And dont give me the propaganda that this is about the Child, The money goes to you not the Child and you spend it any way that you choice, So lets stop the lie that it is about the Children and stop using them as your excuse. If you and other women wont to run this PRIVETE DEPT COLLECTION and DEBTORS PRISON system you call CHILD SUPPORT you should have to pay for it not the tax payer, After all what are we getting for our tax dollars being spent on this NOTHING! WE pay for it and you profit from it! So lets see at 60 dollars a day times times 365 days equals 21,900 dollars jest in jail time,plus court cost,child support fees,police,clerk of the court,court filling,Title IV incentives and other cost, It could cost us tax payers 70 to 80,000 to jail this man for one year for civil contempt, If this was a felony child support case it would cost tax payers about 300,000 dollars and up, It cost the same amount to prosecute this crime as any other felony My state jest spent over 500,000 dollars to prosecute, and incarcerate this "Dead Beat Dad" for five years to collect 18,000 dollars in child support. Our country is trillions of dollars in dept and our children will have to pay it back with interest. America is broke and can not afford to keep spending our money like this.If you wont your money and this man in jail you pay for it us tax payers have had enough.
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First of all I want to say I

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Thu, 09/23/2010 - 9:18am.

First of all I want to say I agree that the child doesn't need to know what's going on. This is an adult issue. You need to be honest with yourself in the fact that you're trying to make his father look bad in his eyes. I'm sure you're no saint, so what you need to do is teach your child christian morals not "point the finger" views. If he's in jail you don't get any money. That's simple math. Immature women who act totally on emotion, are the ones that make all women look bad. As far as the tax thing. Come on, that's something that you need not apply to all people. Everyone will pay and the government decides what it's used for. That includes this lady since she's employed. If the US would take care of their on backyards first, we wouldn't be in this situation. Do you really think that if the child support issue is "solved", you will pay less. Sorry to be the one to break to ya hun, but the answer is NO!

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d

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 9:41am.

True children should not know whats going on with an issue like that .

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Deadbeat Dads

Submitted by One Mad Momma (not verified) on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 3:09pm.
Polaris-you sound like you could be one of those deadbeat dads or something! I have a son who is now 19 and he knows what is going on with his dad being 10,561 past due on child support. The warrant is out there for his arrest right now as a matter of fact. That money would help pay for my son's college expenses. The only time child support was paid was when he was arrested 2-3X a year for the past 17 years. The money does go into the pocket of the custodial parent but who do you think takes care of the child? Surely not the absent parent! You need to take a chill pill and if you owe child support then it should be paid! Raising children is not cheap and does take money! Someone has to keep a roof over that child's head and food in their stomach. Not everyone gets welfare and assistance! I never did but I still had to provide for my child----with no help!
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not to mention the cost of

Submitted by Guestwonderingwoman (not verified) on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 11:59am.
not to mention the cost of welfare benefits that she's possibly/most likely receiving. A couple of hundred dollars is better than zero dollars because if he stays locked down, he definitely can't make any money from there.
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Well, I'll mention the cost

Submitted by Kandy Holubec (not verified) on Sun, 10/03/2010 - 2:15pm.

Well, I'll mention the cost of welfare benefits that I get here in Arkansas. The state gives me 162.00 a month to live on and try to pay my bills and 300.00 dollars a month in food stamps, plus we're both on medicaid, which barely pays on anything unless the doctor gets permission from them. Like the doctor doesn't know he has to treat me. My ex is 75,000 dollars in arrears for my three children that he never payed a dime in child support for and all they do is send him a payment book. If he works one year and files with the I.R.S. at the end of the year they will take his return and that causes them not to come after him. Would you really want your children living on such small amounts of money. My husband works now he just doesn't pay his taxes, because it just kills him that the state takes his money. which is really my money, but the state takes it for medical bills because he's also not paying for their medical insurance. He makes about 1200.00 dollars a week and i never see a drop of it because he has to spend it on his girlfriend. So I could care less if he goes to jail because he's not going to pay my anyway, so maybe he'd like to sit in jail and live like we do. I hope this helps alot of you men that dont think they should have to pay for their children.

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Some women don't work and

Submitted by Guestwonderingwoman (not verified) on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 9:27am.
Some women don't work and get medicaid and food stamps for their children but then want to cry about child support when they don't even support their child themselves. In my opinion, women who try to beat the system should have to pay child support too. How can a woman sit at home while the children are at school, (won't even clean the house or cook/leave that for the children when they get home), collect welfare and child support. If that's the case then some men should get custody, sit at home, collect welfare and then let the woman pay child support. However, ALL parents should support their own kids or stop having them. If you know that man was 30yrs. old when you met him and never had a job before why would you have a baby by him and then complain when he won't support it? If you know that man has 3-5 children by different women and has to pay child support for those children and he has problems paying, why go through what those mothers are going through? I know this is not the case for all parents however, this happens very often.
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Call it what you will

Submitted by Syddog (not verified) on Mon, 11/23/2009 - 10:26pm.
After reading these threads I would like to say I am a father of 4, I raise 3 at home and pay child support on the 4th. The mother of my 4th (Lilly) has done nothing to better her life she has 2 children one is mine and the other from some junkie that left her. Between the 2 children she collects 2 child support checks and an SSI check for the youngest (She is autistic), She lives at home with her mother and 6 other family members in a 3 bedroom house every last person in this home collects all sorts of government aid like food stamps and such and none of them have a job of any kind. In the last few months I stopped working myself into an early grave to support my ex and her marijuana habit so I lowered my hours at a job that I have been working at for the last 3 yrs, in a week I would work close to 90 to 95 hours just to make a normal check. I was recently in hearing with the OCSE about my child support they wanted to know why I had not payed my child support but there was an even bigger surprise out of all the child support being taken out of my checks it turns out that the last payment OCSE had received was 3 yrs back from a job I had left. My employer had not been paying my child support thus making me seem like a "Dead Beat Dad" I tried to explain myself but the case worker would not even let me get a word in edge wise to my surprise he demanded I pay the $3,000 some odd amount in back child support or he would have me locked up. To all the mothers out there that sit on their butts and do nothing to better their lives as well as their child's life I hope you all burn in hell. Take in to consideration that there might be like what 85% of men that are dead beat but keep in mind that in some cases there are hard working men TRYING to be a father to their children and one day if you are the dead beat mother type smoke up that mans money and not supporting your child/children with that money it might just might come back and bite you on the butt. To let you know I am currently seeking representation to gain full custody and nothing less.
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Some women don't work...

Submitted by bestdad32 (not verified) on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 11:31pm.
OK, I have to chime in on this one... (Father)i was awarded custody of my son, at the time he was 3 in my divorce and is now 5. My ex-wife was habitating with a sex ofender (non-petifial) while going through the divorce process and never spent any time with my son while we were seperated except for 1 night a week. Obviously the judge had a major problem with the choice of characters she was with and the time she didnt spend with her child, so this made it clear to the judge who the better "parent" was. We seperated and the court based child support on her earnings, so since December 2007 im supposed to be receiving $770.00/month for support. As of today she is $11,200.00 behind. I will say there are both sides of the table here, i've read the threads and im dissappointed by the WOMENS remarks. They're lots of men out there who are great fathers who do get dragged through the system and i feel for you guys, but women.... always get off the hook in this case and it's complete b.s. and unfair. They're lots of deadbeat mom's out there, trust me i know and these women have no excuses. $770.00 is alot to pay for 1 child, i know, but this divorce cost ME over 10k... i lost my house... i lost my new vehicle, but im ok with that. So now i get a little revenge on my sons behalf because she failed to do the right thing by him and besides i love spending my time with him so it makes it real easy. The money i do receive from support, maybe once a year, goes into a roth ira for his college, thats only fair since i do pay the rent, the electric, kidcare, sports, etc. So as far as the women go, it's now about the better parent, don't point the finger at the guys here. GUYS LISTEN UP! IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO GET CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN IT'S EASY... GET A GOOD FAMILY LAW ATTRNY, LET HER GO PLAY WITH HER FRIENDS, MAKE SURE YOU FIND OUT WHO SHES HANGIN AROUND AND KEEP ALL RECORDS OF VISITATION... YOU WILL GET CUSTODY AND ANOTHER ONE ON THE BOARD FOR THE DADS. JUST BE THERE FOR YOUR KIDS AND YOU WILL BE THE BETTER PARENT. Any feel free to challenge me on this thread, make some comments or ask any questions... so far i've helped 2 of my friends get custody of their children in these divorce cases. Let's all be fair here just so we are clear... IT'S ABOUT THE BETTER PARENT THESE DAYS.. GOOD LUCK TO ALL
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Actually I would love some

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 11:37pm.

Actually I would love some advice. My friend is going through some of the same issues but magnified. His ex wife is living with an adjudicated sex offender in another state now. The Court originally ordered for her to not only be unable to live with him, but for their 3 children to not be legally allowed around him. The 3 children have complained of sexual abuse by him since 2006, and the courts have done nothing. A Psychologist has testified with her evaluation and concerns, an ER Physican has testified who diagnosed and started treatment on a "Red Flag Adult Sexual Assault Injury", many people who the children told their horrific tales to wrote letters to the States Attorney, and still nothing has been done. The court has called my friend, their father, delusional and has suspended all his visitation rights. He is the only one standing up to save his children and even with hard evidence, nothing is being done. The mother has cried wolf and abused the legal system and still, nothing. The father has spent over 60,000 in legal fees now, and has no more to spend. He is now representing himself just to keep the hearings going, trying to find some way to save his children. The court just wants him to go away, and the poor children will be lost to the system forever. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, in this case the courts did not grant custody to the better parent, moreover to the one with legal family connections.

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The Nc Child Support system

Submitted by Willp (not verified) on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:58am.
The Nc Child Support system is a joke. I have seen both thier lack of enforcement and total disregard for sensible reason and abilitly to do thier job correctly and fairly, from both sides of the argument. I married a woman who's first husband owes more than $40,000 in child support . We have given them his address , and yet they have done nothing over the period of the last 3 years to collect. On the other hand I pay nearly $500 every two weeks to my ex-wife, have it come right out of my check ( by choice) .Pay for their health insurance ( by choice , she is actauly orderd to provide , but does not , so I do) and 70% of copays . And yet after paying for nearly a year thru paycheck deductions , I was arressted on a recalled New Hanover county warrant by brunswick officers, the warrant was issued by clerical error, of all things , and was never forwarded to other counties as being recalled. So in the middle of Hewitt's fall from grace Brunswick County Sheriff staged a Child Support Sting to boost thier image and picked me up on a warrant that was over 15 months olds and that they never verified it was still valid . So here you have a guy that pays as he should , supports another man's child (who is $40,000 in arrears and makes no attempt to pay or even be involved with his child's life yet he is living it up in Hawaii while I spend the night in Jail ). Best part if I did not have someone here in town to go by and pick up the paper work that prove I was wrongly being held , I would had sat in there for 10 days waiting for my court date, and would have lost my job. (would have been hard to pay with no job) To top it off once my parents produced the paperwork to show I was being held on a recalled warrant , I had to agree to go before a judge to review the case before the magistate would let me free. The judge looked me in the eye and said he was sorry for my undue hardship and I was free to go . That's it , Your sorry .. Then to top it all if off , after I have been paying for nearly two years now, one day I get a message from ex-wife wanting to know why there is no money in her account with CS . So I log on to see they have not posted my latest paycheck. So i double check with HR and payroll and they had withheld and had cut a check to CS. So after two days of giving my corporate HR department the run around on where the money was, I contacted CSE directly and they told me they posted it to the wrong account. How does that happen , my employment did not change , my name , address, or SS # did not change so why after two years is my money being applied to some other person's account. Best part was when they told me to call back in a week and they would update me on what they had found out. What ?! It took them 3 weeks after they were informed thay had made a mistake two weeks earlier , so guess who was 5 weeks behind and throwing up flags again...On another error on their part. I am convinced that CSE & Judges only persues Men / Women that they know will pay and then charge them the most they possibly can to offset the amounts of the bums they won't go after. I have been paying two years , even today if I log in to the website or call they have no record of my employer . What a joke. Really you have recieved money from my employer for two years to be posted to my account but you have no idea where I work. No wonder they can not collect any back child support from deadbeats , they can't even figure out where I work. No way they going to be able to track down people by giving them an address of residence... That night I was in jail , I spoke with a guy who was being held for $18 , yes $18 dollars.. Now the guy needs to pay I get that , but that is a complete waste of resources . There needs to be reform in the Child Support . Fathers /Mothers need to be held accountable but we need to have arrears reach a min. amount before arrest are made , Warrants need to be validated if over a certain time period, if arresting officers are made aware of possible documentation/ court records during arrest that the warrant is invalid and the suspect is coopertaive why go to though the hassle just to have them released the next day.
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Children need their fathers

Submitted by Guestoff (not verified) on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 5:45am.
There certainly are issues with child support and it doesn't ALWAYS start with "Deadbeat Dads" as some like to tought. There are just as many "Worthless Women" that use childdren against a father even when he is current on his support payments, simply because they are bitter for whatever reason, it's called Parental Alienation. The State contracts with child support enforcement companies that are paid based on how much money they collect. This is where numerous problems begin since they are given the rubber stamp of law enforcement. Too often, the children are used against the father for one sided finacial reasons for both the state and the mother while the child pays the real price.
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children as paychecks

Submitted by ProudMom (not verified) on Sat, 10/24/2009 - 11:24am.
Well said 'guestoff'. The current childsupport system needs to be abolished. It has turned kids against their parents, turned parenting into nothing more than a paycheck, and raised generations of kids that think its ok to live off handouts not to mention the perpetuation of disfunctional generational relationships. You raise your children because you want to, not because there is a paycheck involved. I've seen custodial parents go to court to have their support payments increased only to turn around and use that money to buy new cars, vacations, etc. You can't force a parent to be a responsible parent by court order. They either are or they arn't. Choose your relationships wisely, take responsibility for your actions. I too was a single mom raising 3 children. I did what any parent does, I worked for a living, made choices about finances that were'nt always easy and was blessed with the greatest gift of all....raising my own children and enjoying watching them grow into healthy adults!
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child support

Submitted by Kandy Holubec (not verified) on Sun, 10/03/2010 - 2:30pm.

If your ex got custody of the kids and you had to pay it child support it sounds like you would be the responsible parent and do that, but child support that is court ordered, is certainly no hand out. If the man was still living at home his money would go towards the bills and food and medical insurance for the children. It is no different when he is out of the home. And it doesn't really sound like you chose your relationship very wisely, because you have 3 children that doesn't get child support from their father. WHat kind of man wouldn't want to continue to pay for their children's shelter and food and medical bills. He was doing it while he lived there. ANd no you're probably right you cant' force a parent to be responsible but the police sure can. and every deadbeat dad should be in jail then maybe when they get out they would be responsible if they can't do it oh their own.

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what if the mother cheated?

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 4:43am.

If the mother cheated on her husband and kicked him out of the house its kind of hard to say if he was still a part of the house hold he wouldnt have to pay support because they would be its no different than paying the bills... it sure the hell is different she cheated kicked him out so why does she get the right to dictate when he can see his kids and keep taking him to court for more money while she sits on her ass all day popping out more babies with the guy she was cheating with? living off the system as well as off of child support is that fair??? hell no... if she cant afford her kids then they should live with the parent that can!!!

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child support

Submitted by sampson12 (not verified) on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 10:39pm.
I ALSO LIVE IN NORTH CAROLINA AND MY EX HUSBAND IS 42,000.00 IN ARREARS JOIN THE CLUB IT SEEMS LIKE ITS ALL A BIG JOKE,TO THEM ON THE CASES, OR AT LEAST GOING OVER A STATE LINE TO PICK THEM UP. I THINK I HAVE DONE MORE DETECTIVE WORK FINDING HIM THAN WHAT THEY DO.I KNOW IT TAKES TIME BUT MY CASE HAS LASTED NEARLY 10 YEARS. AND THEY ARE JUST PRAYING I WILL GO AWAY, MY CHILDREN NOW ARE LOT OLDER MY NEW HUSBAND AND I HAVE PROVIDED THEM WITH THERE EDUCATION AND SCHOOLS TO BETTER THERE LIFE. TO MAKE SURE THEY MAKE SOMETHING OF THEMSELVES AND THEY ARE. BUT IN THE EYES OF CHILD SUPPORT PEOPLE IF THEY HAVE TO DO SOME DETECTIVE WORK TO FIND THESE DEAD BEAT DADS WE ARE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE, I GAVE ADDRESSES TELEPHONE NUMBER POSTAL ADDRESS AND NOTHING ALL I GET IS OK UP DATE IT FOR US AGAIN IN 3 MONTH AND WE SHALL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO. I THINK BOUNTY HUNTERS ARE OUR BEST BET. REMEMBER IM OWED 42,000.00 DOLLARS THATS ALOT OF EDUCATION FOR MY KIDS TO IMPORVE EVEN MORE.
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