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The signs of dating violence

READ MORE: The signs of dating violence
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One out of every 5 college females will experience some form of dating violence. It usually starts with simple control issues, then verbal and physical abuse. In extreme cases, it can lead to death. A UNCW student we will refer to as Kay knows all to well what it is like to be in a violent relationship. We have hidden her identity for her protection. Kay said, "I've been held to the ground and one incident was really bad. I don't know why my neighbors didn't call the cops because I was screaming at the top of my lungs – ‘get off me!’." She was in an abusive relationship for 2 years. At first, it was perfect. Her boyfriend said he loved her, and always wanted to be with her. Then he became controlling. He was angry when she went out with friends, or had to work late. UNCW professor Jerry Bagnell works with victims like Kay. He said her situation is similar to many others. "The true dangers run the spectrum from just being intimidated to and having someone call you names to abuse and death," said Bagnell. Kay knew she was in danger, but was afraid of what he would do to her if she told. "He said he would kill himself if I told someone, or threatening to hurt me locking me in rooms." "It's safer to end the relationship, not announce it to the guy in advance. In other words, walk out, go home, leave, whatever. Because when you tell the person the relationship is over you've told them you've lost control,” said Professor Bagnell. She eventually reached out to her family, friends and UNCW counselors for help. "I had to separate myself from him completely. I had to change my phone number and move," Kay said. Kay wants others to learn from her experience. She wants others to get out of a bad relationship, before it is too late. "It's not you, it's him, and what he's doing is wrong and you have to get out of it," added Kay. Another part of dating violence is date rape. WWAY will take an in-depth look at that issue Monday. Professor Bagnell will hold a number of dating violence classes on Monday. They are free and open to students and the general public. They will take place at Leutze Hall at UNCW at 8:00 a.m., 9:00 a.m., and 3:00 p.m. If you have, or are a victim of dating violence, report it. For support, advice or more information call the UNCW Counseling Center at 910-962-3746.

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"In extreme cases, it can

"In extreme cases, it can lead to death". 2 years ago 3 uncw female students lost there lives because of this .3 in one year that is no joke .

those people should not even

those people should not even be dating period till there 30years old ,oh its the same mutts in line at the social services trying to track down a dead beat dad , or needing assistance for food stamps and child care ,having kids when there 16 to 35 , that should be illegal for young girls 16 to 35 to have kids unless they have the credintials to do so they should have to prove to the community that they are capable of having kids and supporting them . so the answer to this domestic violence is wait till your 30 to date ,grow up be a woman find the right guy through specific interests a hobby , church , carrer, military,instead of quarter draft night for ladies or crusing around the mall in your new mustang daddy bought his lil sweetheart for her birthday. i dont believe in violence period and i treat women with respect and dignity just like a gentle man should .as for the younger generation you gotta really scope them out for a while then you can zero in on whos naughty and whos nice

Miscommunication

Let's see, the article starts: "One out of every 5 college females will experience some form of dating violence. It usually starts with simple control issues, then verbal and physical abuse. In extreme cases, it can lead to death. " Then, we have the general reference of a class: "Professor Bagnell will hold a number of dating violence classes on Monday. They are free and open to students and the general public. They will take place at Leutze Hall at UNCW at 8:00 a.m., 9:00 a.m., and 3:00 p.m. " And the general reference of telling others how to report violent activites: "If you have, or are a victim of dating violence, report it. For support, advice or more information call the UNCW Counseling Center at 910-962-3746." The first quote refers to a specific gender as a victim. The other two IMPLY gender neutral concern. But, how can we believe that the concern really is neutral if the first part specifies ONLY one gender as if the missing gender were unimportant? The FACT is that ANYONE, no matter who they are, can be a victim of verbal, mental, physical, and even sexual violence. You can downplay it, misinform about it, lie about it, advocate it, justify it, but in the end, it still amounts to one thing: ABUSE. And no matter who the victim is and no matter who the attacker is, it's wrong. You can spout all the stats you want. But in the end, the only way to truly end abuse is to work to end abuse for EVERYONE, not just one group or another. Because of the way the initial part of this article is written, I have to wonder if the professor is going to actually be preaching bigotry and hate against a whole group of individuals based on gender, accusing them, solely because of their gender, of being violent criminals. The fact is, that many acts of abusive acts the professor can place at the feet of men can also be placed at the feet of women. The fact is that society allows it to happen by making the act of abuse against men a humorous or justifiable act, and so the stats are actually misleading because you can't count someone who is treated as a comedy skit not only by general society but by the authority figures as well. To reitterate, abuse is wrong, no matter who the victim is and no matter who the attacker is. Anyone who tries to downplay it, ignore it, justify it, or turn it into a humorous act based on some irrelevant factor such as race, gender, sexuality, or other factor is as much an advocate in favor of abuse as the acutal abuser is. Fight abuse, and you put an end to it. Stereotype it, and you keep it alive and well. Andrew

Andrew - WWAY just ran a

Andrew - WWAY just ran a story earlier this week about domestic violence against men. I believe Professor Bagnell was a source in this story as well.

I'm aware of that article....

And I make reference to that article in another article.... http://www.wwaytv3.com/take_back_the_night_march_and_rally/10/2008 Andrew