It's hard enough trying to make ends meet in this economy as it is. So imagine being a single parent, trying to provide for your children when your ex owes you thousands of dollars in back child support. That's a reality for many single mothers in our viewing area, and in tonight's Troubleshooters report, we're taking a closer look at what it's like for them.
Kristine Gaston is owed about $13,000 in back child support from the fathers of two of her children. She's been waiting on the money for years. So long, in fact, that her children are now grown. Adding to the hardship, her 20-year-old daughter had a child of her own when she was 15, and the two of them now live with Gaston, too. Paying the bills without the money she's owed is not easy.
"Me and my husband now, we work two jobs a piece just to make ends meet," Gaston said.
Gaston said her exes have skirted the system to avoid having to pay her. That's a common complaint from mothers who call our newsroom fed up with a child support enforcement system that they say simply doesn't work.
The state of North Carolina handled more than 426,000 child support cases last year and collected about $700 million in child support payments. But when you break that down, it's only about $1,600 per case. That's not a lot of money when you consider what it costs to raise a child.
Child support enforcement officials say it can be an uphill battle to collect payments.
"It just depends on the absent parent's situation: whether he's unemployed, decreased in work hours," Judy McArn of Child Support Enforcement said. "There are those who work just daily jobs and get paid cash under the table."
One of Gaston's exes is on disability and only has to pay $32 a month toward the thousands he owes. She says at this rate, she'll be dead before she gets paid back.
So what advice does she have for people who have yet to have kids to avoid the same fate?
"Make sure they're married," Gaston said. "Only thing I can tell you. Make sure they're married., 'cause it's hard when you're a single mom."
Besides garnishing wages, unemployment and disability checks, the state can also garnish your tax refund to collect money that's owed in back child support. You can also be put in jail or have your driver license revoked for failure to pay, but moms we talk to say those penalties are not enforced as often as they should be.
BEEN ON BOTH SIDES OF THE BLOCK
I am a mother that receives support for my daughter. No surprise he is in arrears but we maintain a decent relationship for my daughters sake. He keeps her if I need the help and pays sparaticly. Common sense says if I am struggleing so is he so I leave well enough alone. Plus I find it of no help to put him in jail for failure to pay because then what?? My daughter still wont get what she needs if hes in jail. Now on the other side of the fence, my feance has a child with another woman and is in arrears himself. Here lies my problem with the system. He is in arrears 26,000 for a child he never knew he had. No dna, nothing ever signed that he was the father and yet just last year was served and arrested for this? It seems the only way to prove it is with an attorney which, of corse, cost A LOT of money. A very vicious cycle this system is. My solutions for a lot of people, have the non custodial parents rights removed. It will in turn weed the person out of yours and your childs life, will dead child support (your not getting anyway) and if you thought you were the better parent for the child, struggle with the rest of the world. If you can maintain a relationship with the other parent do as I do, and lean on eachother (I count on him for free childcare, and he counts on me to not put em in jail) I have several other experiences and poor views of this system but have found bantering about it to be of no help. Good luck to you all, hope you find your happy medieum.
i am a father who collects
i am a father who collects support. my childs birth mother does not pay her monthly support and even quit her job so she doesnt have to pay it. shes only obligated to $71/month and shes stays behind. i feel that shes able to get away w/ being behind since her husband is a cop for the city of carolina beach. it is ridiculous that they only require her to pay 71/month. thats a joke and so is the system !!
I am a father with full
I am a father with full physical and legal custody of my child. Her mother only sees her 4 days out of the month. She is only obligated to pay $73/month, and that is delinquent. Additionally, there are 3 years of unpaid medical bills which her mother is liable for by order, all in arrears.
CSE are involved and they do the best they can, but no one has ever held my ex accountable to maintain employment or anything.
Meanwhile, a friend of mine was ordered by the court to maintain employment to pay hundreds of dollars a month of support and he shares custody of his daughter with his ex.
New Hanover County
This child support thing in New Hanover County is a JOKE. The courts judges are even funnier. Ok you owe over $8800.00 dollars lets see you need to pay 25.00 a month to arrears do you understand oh yes your honor. They walk out of court room and do not pay anything for six months because it takes that long to get them back in court then he is given another court appointed attorney and another one to two months to come up with the same excuse and the Judge repeats pay 25.00 a month I have heard this so many times since 2000 I do not even take off to go to court anymore. Until the Judges start holding them truly accountable it will never get better especially in New Hanover County!!!!!!!! Oh he can afford this marijunana on a daily basis.
Child Supprt Enforcement Agency
I started my case with child support enforcement agency in December 2008 and here it is August 2012 and still do not have a court order!!!! My son will be grown before I can even get to court! Guess im just a struggling single mother!!! thank you NC CHILD SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT!!!!!
north carolina child support
I have a.14yr old son his father owes 20,000$ child support let's him get away. His taxes haven't been taken in over 8 yrs. He pays 15$ a month if that. The judge always let's him go. He has had no repercussions he pays till CS is off his case then he finds a new job. I feel that the judge in the CS cases should ask more questions. And give the custodal parent a chance to voice there feelings. I have written letters to head office and government. No one pays any attention.
The Goose and Gander
If the state pays for lawyers for moms (child enforcement attorneys) they should also pay for fathers attorneys.
This is the problem that fathers run into. Sometimes they get laid off, get sick, get into an accident. They can't afford an attorney, but the state supplies the moms with one for free.
Men should take care of responsibilities, but at the same time, men shouldn't fall for "visitation rights". There are none, unless you can afford an attorney every time the ex says no.
If men are carted off to jail, women who violate divorce agreements and "scheduled visitations" should be right behind them.
Everyone should live up to their agreements.
we are living up to our
we are living up to our agreements.we bathe,feed,clothe,make sure that the kids go to doc,dentist,school,do homework.and the good for nothing fathers do NOTHING. they lie in court.they don't deserve their kids if they are going to do nothing for them!
Franklin County
I have a different situation. My husband and I are separated and our two daughters are living with me. The court has ordered him to pay child support. He has no issue with this, he agrees that he should. The problem is that CSE is deducting from his paycheck each week- but they take their slow sweet time disbursing the money. Each time I call the 800# or my case worker, I get the same lame responses... "Maybe he didn't work last week", or "the employer has two weeks to file." It is all a bunch of B.S. I never know from week to week WHEN or IF we will see any money. Half the time I try to check online and the website is down so I can't check payment status. Is it a requirement to be a complete moron to get a job with NC CSE?
vance county
Vance county is the lamest child support agency in north Carolina. Some of the agents have these attitudes like its not their jobs to help you. But I truly believe they need to create a law just as they have a DRUG TASK FORCE then they need to have a CHILD SUPPORT TASK FORCE TOO!!! THEY FIND THE DRUG DEALERS NOW FIND THE NO GOOD PARENTS!!!!
child support
NC Child support collectors do absolutely nothing to help the custodial parent, my ex wife owes me over $18,000 back child support. I'm lucky if I receive $100 a month of the $584 I'm suppose to receive. Yet her Facebook shows all of her purchases that she makes, from motorcycles, pool tables, cameras, I pads, and houses, and monthly trips. She owns a private business and does nothing to help with financial or medical support. I have provided all sorts of info to NCCS and get the same reply, we will send out a letter and get back with you, but the reply never comes, you never get a response from NCCS until you call to get an update.
I have tried private collectors only to get the same answer, "we do not work with NC residents due to the fact they (NCCS) will not help in any way". Something has to change, I have contacted attorneys for help, the attorneys want between $3,000 and $5,000 retainer, which means I will have to spend about as much as would get back.
Dead beat parents need to go to jail, I understand I can't collect while they are in jail but I'm not collecting now, so why should I watch her live the high life and have no responsibilities.
Child Support LIED and LIED
I have not only had to do the job for the workers but get ready for this I have had my child support stopped on more than 1 occasion by a phone call from the parent that should be paying Lieing to the workers about the children not being in my care (I have had to take the children to the Local office) to prove that they live with me..... Ridicules that they will stop it on their phone call of lies but when i have given them Address, name's SS#, Job,state where they lived and actually found them in jail and told the agency where they were thats when i found out i had been lied to about my case being interstate!! This i have been told dont exist but was told during many meetings to my face thats what my case was...
The NC Child Support agency takes our money and DOSE NOTHING for the children that is on their cases.... I am owed 8000.00 and the parent that owes me makes $42.00 an hour HOW crazy is this........????????????
Child Support
you know, I read a comment about those of us who are due child support are greedy and only tell 1/2 the truth? c'mon, only an idiot would think like that. First of all, child support hearings are held in a court with a judge preciding, therefore it was RULED for them to pay, if they disagree with the decision they are more than welcome to go back to court. I am on both sides of the fence and know exactly how screwed up the system is. I have cs owed to me from one county and I owe in another. the cs owed to me is over $11,800, however,the payment that I have to pay taken out of my check, so I am never behind and I always pay what I am ruled to do. I was behind $34 and do you know they had the law looking for me and come to find out it was THEIR mistake???? How can you come looking for me for $34 and you let him be for $11,000+????? You wasted more than that sending someone to my job and house.... more tax payers $$$ for what???? Every once in awhile he does pay, like for his b-day he sent $12 in for us to get him something... what a joke. And YES he knows where he is and how to get in touch with him and have always been more than welcomed to my house to visit or we could meet somewhere, him or his family. It is their choice not to call or visit in like uhm, 12 years!!!! they only live like 1 hour away, shux, I go shopping in their city, but now, at my childs age, he isnt a bit more interested in meeting him than the man in the moon and who could blame him?
I'm not a lawyer, but I play one on TV
Mmmm. Garnished wages. Maybe a little aglio e olio, a spritz of lemon.
Yes, I love me some garnished wages. Looking all pretty on the plate, my compliments to chef. Il complimentore,
OK, I'll stop; you get the point.
Hah. Garnished wages. If we say it enough times it might become inflammable.
Hah. Inflammable.
CHILD SUPPORT WOES
A Deadbeat is a deadbeat male, woman or whatever.I FEEL NC CHILD SUPPORT SYSTEM IS A BIG JOKE,ESPECIALLY THE ONE IN WILMINGTON,NC! YOU HAVE SOME COUNTIES LIKE PENDER AND BRUNSWICK THAT PUT THE WANTED NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT IN THE LOCAL PAPER SHOWING THEIR OWED ARREARS. THEN JUST LIKE TEXT-A TIP THEY ARE ABLE TO GET THESE PARENTS. WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY THE PARENT THAT IS PAYING SUPPORT AND DOING FAITHFULLY FOR THEIR KID(S) ARE GIVEN SUCH A HARD TIME FOR THE LEAST TIME THEY MISS A PAYMENT OR SOMETHING...WHILE THE DEADBEAT ARREAR PARENT IS NOT EVEN HARRASSED.I FEEL THE SYSTEM SHOULD SPEND MORE ENERGY AND TIME ON THE DEADBEAT ARREARED PARENT($1,000 OR MORE OWED)THAN THEY DO ON THE ONES THAT ARE TRYING AND DO CARE BUT MIGHT JUST HAVE A HARDSHIP EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.I MEAN WOMAN OR MALE ....
I BELIEVE ALOT OF PARENTS FEEL WHEN THE CHILD GET GROWN THEY ARE SCOT-FREE, BUT IN FACT IF THE CUSTODIAL PARENT SIGN PAPER STILL WANTING THEIR CHILD SUPPORT CASE ENFORCED AND SEEK THAT IT STILL IS ENFORCED AND THAT ABSENT PARENT IS NOT OFF THE HOOK.THE CUSTODIAL PARENT DESERVE THAT MONEY NO MATTER HOW OLD THAT CHID GET BECAUSE THE WHOLE TIME THAT ABSENT PARENT WASN'T PAYING NOTHING THAT CUSTODIAL PARENT WAS AND DESERVE SOME RELIEF NO MATTER WHEN.MIGHT HAVE SURVIVE THE 18 YEARS BUT WAS A STRUGGLE TRYING TO HOLD THINGS DOWN WHILE CREDIT COULD OF WENT BAD BEAAUSE COULDNT PAY BILLS BECAUSE OF A CHILD NEED!! THE WORLD DONT LOOK AT INDIVIDUAL NEEDS BEACUSE IF A SINGLE PARENT MAKE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MONEY AND THEY FEEL OVER THE LIMIT FOR ASSISTANT THEY HAVE TO STRUGGLE TO MAKE ENDS MEET WHEN IN FACT THERE IS ONLY THAT 1 INCOME.THEN THOSE THAT PLAY THE SYSTEM OR LOW INCOME GET ALL THE "GOODIES"AND NOT HAVE TO STRUGGLE AS HARD.....SORRY THIS IS SUBJECT THAT HITS TO CLOSE TO HOME AND JUST MAKE ME MAD HOW THE SYSTEM(LOCAL,NATIONAL,FEDERAL, STATE, ALL IN BETWEEN)WORKS!!!ITS JUST SO OVERWHELMING!THE CHILD SUPPORT AGAENCIES DON'T REALIZE THESE ARREARED PARENTS ARE LAUGHING REAL HARD AT THEM CAUSE THE ARE SO EASY TO GET OVER ON!
I think you're all greedy and you tell half truths..............
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynching
You're a lynch mob, did you know that linching is supposed to be illegal? You probably all withhold visitation to. It's all about you. Why not have the non custodial parents put to death or stoned.
no a lynch mob
Not a lynch mob and no half truths here my kids see their dad when ever they want to as long as they don't have school, at our expense because their dad can't even be bothered to have transportation, he only has to pay 332 a month, (for 2 kids mind you) and can't pay that half the time, my son had a brain tumor and we had to go back and forth to Chapel hill for chemo and radiation and all for more than 2 years we still have to go for checkups every few months, guess who didn't help one bit and slept through the brain surgery. I even took him to court through CSE to try to get help paying some of the gas and lodging money back, I had paperwork proving everything, even doctors notes telling who was always there, guess what he conveniently had not enough hours through new hanover cse because he works for a family member and can get away with whatever he wants, he also always has the same excuse when I try to get an increase he is working fine getting plenty of hours until he gets the letter about a review, then about a month before the court date his hours decrease. He plays the system all the time. When the kids come back from his house though they always complain because he doesn't spend any time with them because he is working side jobs (under the table) he always claims he is broke but he flashed his money in front of them, lives in the projects so he doesn't have to pay a bunch of rent, and expects us to pay for the gas and wear and tear on our cars for everything, the only time he doesn't get to see them is I just don't have the gas money to take them 3 counties away, which is hardly ever, I try to make it happen for them but this is not right and they are right new hanover cse is a big joke. We pay more child support for my husbands girls,than what we get for the same amount of kids and almost the same pay rate and we never miss a payment but if we did he would be in court in 2 seconds cause his ex is in bruns county they tried to get him one for not reporting a .25 raise he didn't know he had to report so you tell me what is wrong with this picture. My ex can't even take care of the two kids he had already then he got married again and had 2 more. I have always taken care of them no matter what and I don't complain because they are my kids and they are my responsiblity, and the most I have ever gotten from the govt is medicaid and food stamps, which I have earned because I have always worked my butt off and payed my taxes unlike a lot of people. (like him) But it is not right for people to get away with this kind of thing, and then when they voice the problem to try to get things changed for the better someone like you who is probably like my ex jumps in and calls us names like lynch mob walk a mile in our shoes before you judge everyone in your lynch mob theory telling half truths for those of us who hold it down and do what needs to be done, there is no need for half truths. Try taking care of your kids with little or no help in a situation like ours and for the last 15 years alone pretty much, the only reason I asked for child support is because after we split up in for years he gave me a couple of bags of chips that he was goin to throw out and 11 dollars one time in four years for a pack of pullups. Try dealing with someone like this then come back and pass your judgment. Grow up and be a man! If all men/women would take care of their own kids the economy would be a lot better and we would live in a much better place!
my childrens father hasnt
my childrens father hasnt been around for 5yrs hasnt even tried to see his children was thousands of dollars behind in childsupport they cancealed his childsuppoert yes cancealled it because they said they couldnt find him..... he was arrested n california n april so how they cant find him blows my mind..yes you all are very rite CHILDSUPPORT ENFORCEMENT IS A JOKE!!!! and not a good joke at that!!!
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A LYNCH MOB. IF IT WAS YOU YOU WOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY. I NEVER STOPPED MY CHILDREN FORM SEEING THERE FATHER. MY DAUGHTERS FATHER ALWAYS HAD CONTACT WITH HER, SO DON,T GO JUDGINE IF YOU DON,T KNOW WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT.
Deadbeat Moms too
Apparently this site also likes to defend deadbeat moms, or my earlier comments about the lack of help would have been posted. My ex WIFE has not paid a cent in 2 1/2 years and all i get is the runaround by the child support agency. I have given her current address 5 times in two years and they still cant get to her in time to serve her with papers or arrest her, in some cases she was at the address for 3 months before she moved to avoid arrest. If the roles were reversed, they would be knocking on my door within a few days of getting an address. Now she has fled the state and i was told, "Well, now thats going to create a whole new set of problems"...even though they have an address and her alias. Thanks NC Child Support agency.....thanks for nothing.
Child support
I went through a divorce in 2010,my wife took my three children to nc from ohio after meetin someone on facebook and took two thousand dollars.i sold everything i owned and moved nc to be by my kids.my wife became down on her luck and i ended up with all three children for six months,during that time i had a childsupport case open against her.they knew where she worked and lived and still couldnt find her?yea right!during that order she went to another county and opened a childsupport case against me.i live in ohio again and have primary of my oldest,who is seven,she has other two but guess what?i am paying support on all three and because she opened that support in a different county,i am also in rears 1900.my son and i are goin through hell because of this and i cant do nothin about it, i am broke.cant wait to see whats goin to happen next :/
From a Dad that does pay his child support
I am a divorced Dad and have two children from the marriage. Although the children live with their mother, we agreed to "joint custody" and signed what I was told at the time is a "standard custody agreement" allowing me to have the kids every other weekend and one night a week.
Now their Mom continues to use my possibility of seeing them beyond this original custody agreement as leverage because she knows that it causes me emotional distress. I was tired of her using this leverage and sought legal advice and have been told by several attorneys that if I pay the thousands of dollars to go to court to seek additional time that the judges will likely favor their Mother and that I should be happy with what I have.
I pay my child support on time and always have; I've also split the cost of camps, sports, etc. I am a good father: help with homework, volunteer in their schools, am a member of PTA, have coached their team, etc, etc. Where is the joint custody and equal rights? The system may have loopholes when it comes to those that don't pay child support, but for those that do it just seems down right sexist.
Sorry
I am sorry you are going through this if you do all of this I wish there were more dads like you because then there wouldn't be som many guys like you getting a bad wrap, my husband now does what needs to be done, so even though my ex is exactly opposite of you I think that it is bad for those dads who do right to be persecuted because of those who don't. Good luck. Keep your head up.
deadbeat dads
The government has no God given right to tell anyone what to do with thier own children.I suggest you worry the h--- out of every politicion you can call until they do away with the family court system that is tearing our famlies apart and making harlots out of the wives of decent men!!!If you vote for this system of satan, You may want to do the decent thing and refuse to vote.
I agree...
with the other comment here about single dads. No one ever talks about them. And I have to say how much I HATE hearing widowed and divorced parents referred to as "single". As far as these single moms, hey, how about not having any kids if you aren't married? Just a thought....
im a single father have been
im a single father have been raising my son for 8 years, and the court wouldnt give me a dime from his mother, they say i make enough money to support him oh but when she ran off with another man i still had to give her half hmmmmmm
Deadbeat Moms too
As a father who is raising his child without the mother anywhere around, let me add that the child support system is a big joke. The people that work there do not want to do their job if it involves a mother paying her support. It has been 2 1/2 years now and my ex has not paid a cent....and child support enforcement isnt lifting a finger. I have to do all the investigating to find her address for them....for a FIFTH time because they cant seem to get to her to have her served within a reasonable time. If is was me, i would have been strung up by my toes in the center of town while her and her friend hit me with a stick until the .35c i swallowed as a child came out my nose.
It seems that
there are some conflicting issues.
Fathers should take accountability for their acts of passion and pleasure. The post seems to address only 1 side.
If 1 of the 2 Fathers is on disability, and is paying what he is ordered to pay monthly, it's not right to throw stones at him.
The post addresses the issue of "single mothers" yet later it indicates she is married and she and her current husband each work 2 jobs.
The post also indicates 2 of the children are grown; would one assume Fathers are no longer required to pay the Mother support? If they are living with her, do they work to support themselves?
How the presence of a 20 year old child, who gave birth at 15 to a child of her own, is relevant to Fathers who fail to pay child support beats me. That young lady either did not learn from the actions of her mother or did not have parental supervision of a level to prevent a teen pregnancy. For that matter, does she work to support herself and her child?
Is this another case of multi-generational entitlement families? If it is, they better look for alternatives. Funding in the next fiscal year, on both a State and Federal level will be down as the fruits of tax, borrow, spend, and print money comes home to both levels of Government.
Child support
The system for child support really stink.. If they go to prison owing child support and when they are release and they go to court the judge will give them credit for time serve. And they don't try to do nothing until they are 30 days or more behind. That child didn't stop growing or they need didn't stop. The one that try to pay they give them a hard time, and the one that never paid could care less. The child is suffering while the absent parent is in confinement they know where next meal is coming from. I have been in situation before. Child support agency just don't care.The only thing they don't have is hey freedom
child support agency don't care
They get paid to collect money from working men for prostitutes.oF COURSE THEY CARE!! i'LL BET THIS TRUTH DON'T MAKE THE COMMENT SEXTION EITHER;tHE GREAT SATAN WILL DELETE IT.