WRIGHTSVILLE BEACH (THE FOLLOWING LOST-AND-FOUND AD WAS POSTED THIS WEEK ON CRAIGSLIST.COM) -- I spent yesterday morning frolicking in the waves of the Atlantic Ocean at Wrightsville Beach. While toweling off my Phelps-like physique, I discovered a ring lying in the sand near the Crystal Pier.
This ring is obviosuly special. It's not special in a way that requires me to return it to Mordor to defeat Sauron and all of that crap, but it's still special in its own unique way.
The ring is silver with the words "Brittney Marie" etched into the band. There is a large purple gemstone set in the middle of the band. I'm not a gemologist and I don't play one on TV, so I have no friggin' clue what kind of stone it is.
My initial reaction was to take the ring to Flash Cash Jewelry & Pawn on Dawson Street and then head STRAIGHT to Pure Gold strip club to take in the Wilmington Ballet. I WOULD MAKE IT RAIN AT PURE GOLD. And just as I was making it rain, the Karma Gods would strike down on me with great vengeance and furious anger.
The strip club DJ would tee up a Mötley Crüe song--because strip club DJs ALWAYS play Mötley Crüe songs--and introduce the next dancer.
DJ: "Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage...Brittney Marie!"
ME: "OH S**T."
And while it's unlikely Brittney Marie is her real name, it would still freak me out. Even worse, it could be her stage name and some creepy customer who excels in hand-to-gland combat gave her that ring. Because NOTHING is creepier than some dude ... giving a stripper a ring with her stripper name engraved on it. That's some BTK s**t right there.
This is how the Karma Gods work. And I don't want any part of it.
That's why I posted this on Craigslist. If this is your ring, send me an email (5pkcw-3202336254@comm.craigslist.org) and I will mail it to you. I'll even pay for the postage. If this is NOT your ring and you send me an email claiming it IS your ring, you will be (messing) with an indomitable force that will hunt you down and stab you in the heart.
CLICK HERE TO READ AN UNEDITED VERSION OF THE POST(WARNING: SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC)- http://wilmington.craigslist.org/laf/3202336254.html
COME ON. IS THIS GUY FOR
COME ON. IS THIS GUY FOR REAL? SOUNDS LIKE AN EGO TRIP TO ME. 15 MINUTES OF FAME?
Jeeze people...it's from a
Jeeze people...it's from a Britney Marie Fake Jewelry Product Company out of Ching Bing,China...rings usually found in gumball machines in Wal Mart for 2 bits!!!
Case SOLVED!!!!!
Just News
With a great story,twist.
I applaud the founder for all they trying to do.
It is news,local yes but news.
Great post WWAY and shows all news not bad,just is "what happens" in everyday life.
Really
I can not believe that time was even taken into putting this on the news. I would rather have you follow up on the Blitz Build that was done a few months ago. Can you explain why a follow-up story wasn't done on the "homeowners"? Could it be becaue they are not "homeowners". Since you don't know how to research a story I will do the work for you. If you check the Register of Deeds you will notice these young ladies are not listed in there. (FYI this is pubic record) Why not check with CFPUA you will also notice no water bills are in their name, in additon to not having water in their name, I have driven by this place a noticed a constuction box full of trash.. So since you won't to report news can you do a follow up on this story Scott since it was reported to Kevin last week via phone and he didn't?
Wow! Some of you are a little up t-t-t-t-tight today!
Chill out people. The guy's post was funny. It's not like he was trying to lure someone into an uncertain demise and if he was actually trying to return the ring, so much the better. Hey, how can you not like someone who uses the word "frolicking"?
While not the biggest news item on the block, it's still a welcome respite from the daily dose of Bozeman-Berger-Soles-Baseball-Bla,bla,bla.
Why?
Why on earth would you print this? It is either some elaborate joke or you have given some sicko air time and print time. Stupid decision!
Chill-lax
Calm down people..this is obviously a young guy that was being witty (even though there is probably some truth to it) on his craigslist post.
He is actually "paying it forward" by making all that read it think about their karma.
I toast the ring finder for his honesty and wwaytv3 readers should as well.
well well well way to
well well well way to encourage sexual predators! wect could be held responsible if something bad happens...the guy sounds like a freak
Durrrrrrrrrp
Wow....since this is WWAY, I'm guessing they would not mind if WECT would be held responsible for something WWAY did.
Get a grasp
Please explain how a news station could be held responsible? Then explain what wect has to do with wway's website?
Finally, lay off the pipe.
Well, has the rightful owner
Well, has the rightful owner been found??
Hilarious!
I'm glad you posted, made me laugh! That poster has a sharp wit!
lost it (your mind)
OMG I thought this was a joke but it is actually posted on here by WWAY. WWAY, you have stooped lower than I thought you would ever go. Are you out of your mind posting this???