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Parent files criminal charges against bullying kids

Submitted by WWAY on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 11:10am.READ MORE:
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The parent of a Cumberland County 7th grader said her daughter is getting bullied by classmates. She also claims the principal will not stop it. Twelve-year-old Allyson Inman claims several classmates make rude remarks to her daily, and one even touched her inappropriately. Now her mother is filing criminal charges against the kids she said are bullying her daughter. The Southview Middle School principal said the school conducted an investigation about Inman's complaints. Cumberland County sheriff's detectives said it will take about a week to investigate her complaint and file charges.

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bullying

Submitted by kellie (not verified) on Sun, 08/26/2012 - 2:14pm.

I agree completely I was bullied when I was in high school and now my son has been bullied. I would come pick my son up from elementary school and he would have black eyes he was kicked in the chest and ribs while the teachers stood in the distance talking and not paying attention. My son money was taken from him everyday and threatened he became quiet, he gained a lot of weight, he was sad all the time. He is in a new school district this year and he is nervous and has anxiety attack thinking what could happen this year. I spoke to a parent that was with this district last year about the school she seem like she wanted to tell me more but didn't want to worry me so I spoke with the principle also and she didn't even make me feel any better. I'm tired of worrying about my children at school were they should be safe.I feel they should make bullying a felony, suspending a student, giving fines aren't doing anything cause the parent is paying that, detention not doing nothing we need to take this more serious and our children will stop committing suicide and or clicking and shooting up the schools and killing innocent kid. If kids knew they were facing time they wouldn't do it it's a serious matter so it should be a serious consequence

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My opinion and only a

Submitted by willbebacksoon (not verified) on Sat, 02/14/2009 - 11:48am.
My opinion and only a opinion is that the only inappropriate conduct that is going on is that neither the school nor the cumberland county school board is addressing the issue. There are filing down at the sheriff's office in regards to activities that are going on in that school. I am a parent with children going to that school and I am very concerned about there well being. I believe we are supposed to send our children to school to get a eduction, and that is a responsibility of the state to provide a safe place for them. That is not Happening at this school! Will try to get parents together to try to help resolve some of these issues.
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More than a week?

Submitted by Charles Walters on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 4:17pm.
It's been more than a week have any charges been filed in Cumberland County? Does any one have any info?
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Charges filed???

Submitted by STOP allowing the BULLYING (not verified) on Fri, 02/13/2009 - 3:47pm.
Haven't heard anything about charges being filed in that case. I do notice that all the bullying at Codiginton posts have been removed! INTERESTING! What happens in the dark will ALWAYS come out in the light!
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Bullying

Submitted by STOP allowing the BULLYING (not verified) on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 4:47pm.
Yes, It is STILL going on at CODINGTON! I have now had to get an attorney involved since the Sherriff's department can't even help me.
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Is That

Submitted by Charles Walters on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 7:54am.
The question is. They can't help you or won't help you. I believe it the latter of these.
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Just tell your kids to let

Submitted by Lefty from Mulberry Street (not verified) on Wed, 02/11/2009 - 10:21am.
Just tell your kids to let the bully know that their Father is a "Hit Man" for the Mafia. That will do it!
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Bully's

Submitted by Guest555 (not verified) on Fri, 02/13/2009 - 9:07pm.
Best answer I have heard yet! No one gets hurt...that's a good one!
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until some pistol-packing

Submitted by NobodyAtAll (not verified) on Wed, 10/28/2009 - 10:12am.
until some pistol-packing anklebiter watches The Sopranos and chooses the dad in question for a career-building skills demonstration
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Years ago when I was in high

Submitted by Guest 2222 (not verified) on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 8:45pm.
Years ago when I was in high school, there was a girl who had lost her hair due to some medical condition. She wore a wig to school but anyone over the age of 40 knows what the wigs at that time looked like, so there was no mistaking it was not her hair. What amazed me was not the fact that the other students made this girl's life a torment from the time she got on the bus in the morning til the time she got off, but even more so, the teachers that wanted to appear to be "so cool" to their students joined in the torment. The girl tried to fit in. She was a good student, and she was interested in writing so she joined the journalism class. The teacher in charge of the yearbook and school paper actually led the campaign to get this girl to drop the class. My daughter was bullied for a time in junior high school, but since she is in 9th grade now and at the same school with her brother, no one bothers her. He is 6'5" and weighs 250 pounds and has never hurt a fly, but no one takes a chance. It is sad that children who are bullied cannot feel like they can get relief from reporting the situation to the school authorities. If this lady cannot get relief from the school, then she is well within her rights to file criminal charges against the students. It isn't like they don't know what they are doing in wrong.
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bullying

Submitted by Katharine Fisher (not verified) on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 9:14pm.
I am glad the mother is filing charges. I went the same kind of thing with my daughter when she was in the 5th grade in Pittsburg KS. I tried talking to the teachers, then the school counselor, and then the principal. All to no avail. I finally had a conference with all of them at one time and let them know that if they did not put an immediate stop to the bullying I was going to file a law suit against them for not protecting my daughter. This got their attention. The two girls involved were put into detention and their parents were notified. Believe it or not the girls and my daughter did eventually become friends and the two that had been doing the bullying realized that their behavior was immature and unwarranted. I hope this Miss Inman is successful in her attempts at getting the bullying stopped. Bullying can be very damaging to the object of the bullying.
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Discipline and Bullies

Submitted by Guest26 (not verified) on Tue, 02/03/2009 - 4:25am.
I am new to the parenting scene. But I am not new to the whole bullying scene. I was picked on and bullied in school. My parents let me stand up for myself and there were some battles I am sure they helped me to fight. But did anyone ever think that bullying is the effect of a parent not giving a damn? Honestly you should undergo severe psychological testing to be a parent nowadays. It is sad but true. Parents bully kids, kids bully other kids. I shudder to think what will happen when my son goes to school but I know that he will be aware of what to do in regards to self defense and that he will know he can come to me anytime he needs to. I commend the mom pressing charges because I would do a lot worse. She is being nice about it. But to make a good point every parent can learn from, if you spare the rod you spoil the child. There is a fine line between discipline and abuse, so be careful when disciplining your child, but don't always be the best friend. Love your child, be a friend, but be a parent. Show them you are in charge and that you know what is best for them. Parents are not meant to bully their children and children are not meant to bully the parent or fellow children. Of course if we raised our kids the way God intended, we wouldn't have all the problems. But we stray and the problems arise. So what is that telling us? Go back and let God help you. Simple solution...
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Why do they bully?

Submitted by Im someone you should not know (not verified) on Tue, 02/03/2009 - 6:11pm.
Ive always wondered, why do we/they bully? ive got picked on durin' school, & i've never bullied someone atleast i dont think i did. i think its missery when your bullied. my own kid gets bullied & he wonders the same thing "why do they bully?" comment if you know why they bully.
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Kids Can't Fight Back Anymore

Submitted by Pine Valley mom (not verified) on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 2:23pm.
My son goes to Pine Valley and is Christian. I'm sure I will get flack for this but I don't care..He gets bullied from Muslims. As a parent, I've stood up against with teachers and principles and they have resolved the problem hands down. However, if your child is being bullied as mine was all year, you cannot fight back in any sort of way. You can't push back once pushed, etc. Both children will be suspended. If my childs gets suspended for defending himself, then so be it. The state of affairs with our public schools has me considering they don't have the qualifications to be teaching my son, so it may be homeschool at some point.
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Hmmmm

Submitted by guesty on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 3:05pm.
But isn't Islam a peaceful religion?? Yea, I didn't think so either.
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Bullying...yes, put your foot down

Submitted by Beenthere (not verified) on Mon, 02/02/2009 - 2:46pm.
Absolutely ! This mother is right on and others need to make a stand against bullying - - DO NOT let Your child deal with it alone, especially if it has been an on-going issue. When kids are victimized by bullies they are usually "at a loss for words and/or actions" on what to do. We took matters into our own hands - - and our son's bully is now a "shadow of himself." He will NOT be bullying anyone again. My husband (big guy, muscular) met the kid after school and asked him, "What his problem was...if it happens again then the police will be involved." Well...it NEVER happened again and the bully's mother went on antidepressants. You reap what you sow. If you are going to dish it out (bullies) - you better be prepared to take it !! We are our children's protectors if the need should arise.
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As an elementary counselor,

Submitted by Counselor (not verified) on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 12:02pm.
As an elementary counselor, I consider your husband's actions to be bullying - intimidation because he is bigger and stronger. If the school does not have an anti - bullying program, they should start one. Start by talking with your child's teacher, and keep going up the chain of command to the School Board until the school responds appropriately. They are required by law to do so. You do more harm than good by sending an adult to fight a child's battles, as the child will never learn to do so for themselves.
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I could not disagree with you more

Submitted by TM (not verified) on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:08am.

Somebody needs to confront the bully and let them know somebody knows about them. The father did not threaten to hurt the child, only asked him what the problem is and let him know what he was doing was not ok and if it continued there would be consequences. If parents are not going to teach there children somebody will. I would rather deal with the issues my self then wait till we have an out of control adult and the legal system is dealing with them.

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Yes, my daughter's

Submitted by Guest1111 (not verified) on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 3:19pm.
Yes, my daughter's elementary school had a school counselor as well. But since he was currently undergoing therapy for his bad temper and beating his wife, it was made crystal clear that any time she needed "counseling", to call me and we could take care of that at home. Of course he had also held the position of custody mediator for the county we live in at one time. Most of the problems with the schools today is that personnel are hired based on what diplomas are hung on the wall and not the actual person.
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an elementary school

Submitted by SurfCityTom on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 12:22pm.
counselor? Is this what our educational system has come to? Elementary school counselors? Is that to provide suggestions on favorite colors? I'm not trying to be mocking; but how on earth does one counsel elementary school children? There was a time, and it was not that long ago when there was no such animal as an elementary school counselor. I saw a counselor in High School who assisted in making college based decisions. She also mentored those who were not college bound on career options as well as draft options. My daughter did not see a counselor until high school. She seemed to survive the pre high school absence and went on to a stellar college experience at Chapel Hill and a Masters from George Mason. Perhaps part of the problem is the presence of counselors before they are really needed and the pressure they put on parents who are trying to be good parents. But then in my school days, and those of my daughter, we had no need for school resource police officers. Schools focused on schooling; Parents focused on child rearing.
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Stupidity shining through

Submitted by Guest123456 (not verified) on Sun, 02/08/2009 - 12:05am.
No, things are not like they used to be 'back in the day'. Back in the day I could let my kids go outside and play and not worry about some pervert trying to take them. Back in the day, I could walk around the mall at age 12 by myself and not have to worry about my safety. But we no longer live 'back in the day'. We live in the here and now. And here and now, counselors are required. My son REFUSED to stand up for himself. Not because he was scared but because he didn't want to hurt the other child. He is not a small child and his younger siblings are smaller than he is so we have to remind him to be careful when he rough houses with them. And I believe that is why he wouldn't fight back. Plus, he felt there were other ways to deal with the issue. I am thankful for the counselor at our school. She is a wonderful lady who truly loves children and does what she can to help out anyone in need and it isn't just psychological counseling. It's helping with social services if someone loses their home or making sure the child has what he/she needs for school, etc. I'm glad you're daughter didn't need services (or at least not that you may have paid attention to) however there are those who do need it. The use of a counselor may be used by SOME to replace their own parenting skills but that is not a characterization for ALL!!!
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Another kid ruined

Submitted by Commonsensenotc... on Sun, 02/08/2009 - 4:02pm.
"My son REFUSED to stand up for himself. Not because he was scared but because he didn't want to hurt the other child. He is not a small child and his younger siblings are smaller than he is so we have to remind him to be careful when he rough houses with them." Perhaps if you had told the younger, smaller siblings to "get tougher or run faster," your oldest son would not have been afraid to stand up for himself? You see, he WAS scared. He was scared of ticking you off or disappointing you by violating some enforced weenie status you have heaped upon him. You need to tell him that there are times when violence is justifiable. When he kicks the snot out of some bully, you need to stand behind him and support that decision. I wonder what law enforcement and the military is going to be like in twenty years, when the recruiters have nothing but "nice, caring, gentle souls" to choose from.
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assumptions

Submitted by Guest123456 (not verified) on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 3:20am.
You make assumptions about situations you have NO clue! We actually have let the children have knock down drag out fights (with our supervision).They've come away with scratches, bruises, etc. No broken bones or major injuries but my husband and I do recognize they need to deal with their unresolved anger issues they have with each other at times. My son is NOT scared of me. I told him on a daily basis to kick the snot out of that punk kid. I backed him up EVERY DAY!!! It is the school system who didn't back him up. He knew from the get go that if he got in trouble at school he would NOT get in trouble at home as long as he was standing up for himself or his siblings! My child gets suspended from school because he was standing up for himself or his siblings, there won’t be punishment at home. He’ll have a mini vacation! Also, I resent the implication that you have placed on my child as a 'weenie'. Yes, he is a gentle, caring soul who also happens to be a CHILD!!! A child who is still trying to learn his way in this messed up world overbearing, know it all people like you have created for us. You always have a lot to say and anything someone says to the contrary is wrong. Of course, I shouldn’t expect anything less coming from you. In fact, it is difficult to figure out who the bigger bully is on these forums: Common or SurfCity Tom!
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Must have hit a nerve, huh?

Submitted by Commonsensenotc... on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:53am.
Now tell your son to take care of the bully *AWAY* from school, and back him up to the hilt. There is a time when "gentle and caring" needs to be placed on the shelf, temporarily.
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Nerve

Submitted by Guest123456 (not verified) on Wed, 02/11/2009 - 7:11pm.
yeah ya hit a nerve but you usually do! I agree there is a time to place gentle and caring on the shelf and that is what I tried to do. As for getting the bully 'away' from school? The child doesn't live in our neighborhood nor do they ride the same bus. So that wasn't an option either!
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Now that, I can understand

Submitted by Commonsensenotc... on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 7:24am.
It was a LOT easier to travel to "settle things" when I was a kid and where I grew up. I lived in a city and school districts were only a couple of miles in radius. We didn't have overly protective parents forbidding us from going past the end of the block. We wandered for miles in any direction. I can see how the logistics of confronting a bully away from school down here would be more difficult. Did you consider driving him over to the bully's neighborhood? That would make an interesting message board (and maybe even a TV Movie) if THAT ever came out. Heather Locklear IS "Revenge Mom," tonight at Nine on Lifetime. No....I think I'd have to advise him to risk the covert approach at school...the extremely painful, quick and stealthy attack that could be explained away as an accident in the event it was seen. Listen, I'm not saying you're a bad mother or your son is a wimp. I'm saying that we are coddling our kids far too much, and society as a whole is suffering for it. The reason we have so many thirty year-olds who can't manage their lives is because they were never given a chance to learn by a baptism in fire growing up. We do everything for them, don't let them take any risks, place no duties or responsibilities on their shoulders, and then wonder why Junior is such a lost soul when he strikes out on his own. (If he ever does. I've never seen so many grown men living at home with mom and dad as now.) I'm only saying that it should be an EXTREMELY severe and very isolated case when parents or school officials need to get involved to stop bullying.
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response

Submitted by Guest123456 (not verified) on Sat, 02/14/2009 - 2:24am.
Taking into consideration that children are bused into where my son goes to school and knowing where this child lives, I'd rather use the covert option or step in to take care of the issue. This other child does not live in the best of neighborhoods and I will every means possible to keep my child safe. Besides, by taking him over to the other child's house I'm only perpetuating the situation by advocating more violence, which is what I want to stop. Instead of teaching my son to stand up for himself I would be teaching him to 'hunt' down the person responsible. Isn't that something everyone else is complaining about these days? I do not coddle my children. However, it is my responsibility as a parent to make sure they are safe. And FYI, I'm in my thirties - early thirties and I don't believe in coddling my children. They are learning to be responsible or face consequences because of it. This is a difficult world we live in. This is not my parents world nor is it even my world anymore. Life is not as simple as it used to be nor is it as easy as telling 'Little Bobby' to meet you on the playground at 3 to settle this issue.
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From my response...

Submitted by Commonsensenotc... on Sat, 02/14/2009 - 2:58pm.
...it was intuitively obvious to the most casual observer that I was not advocating your driving him to the bully's neighborhood. We can go on about this forever, so I'll let this be my last post by falling back on something you stated earlier, and something I mentioned earlier. You told your son to handle the situation at school if needed, and that you'd back him up. He chose not to do that. When my daughter was being bullied, she too didn't want to get into trouble at school. She didn't go after the bully immediately. What it finally took to get some action out of her was me saying something to the effect of, "Look, I'm sick of hearing about this kid. If he is that mean and consistently picks on you, I've already told you what to do. If you won't do that, then he's simply going to keep bullying you and you're accepting your fate. Stand up for yourself or quit whining. You have to fight your own battles." She did stand up for herself, quite effectively. The kid never bothered her again. (A GIRL had beaten him up!) Her mother and I had to go meet with the teacher and principal, and that was it - it was over. Of course that was a long time ago, before the forces of total "pansification" started winning. But the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes our kids need a little tough love to guide them. Sometimes they can overuse the shoulder to cry on, and we have to yank it out from under them. There is no reason why your son has to put up with bullying, but he may need a figurative size ten to get him into gear. Tell him to stand up for what's right. ALWAYS stand up for what is right, and if he gets in trouble for it, well....the toughest steels come out of the hottest fires. He'll survive a little adversity. Of course, you risk creating a monster...my shy little angel now stands 5' 11" and won't leave patrol division because she enjoys the street too much.
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So Right

Submitted by Charles Walters on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 2:15pm.
The very few times someone picked on any of my children I was right in the middle of it, because if you wait for the school system to take action your kids are going to get hurt. They want to take it to a counselor and talk about everyones feelings. They also say no matter if your child is getting beaten with a fist or a weapon or what ever they have no right to defend themselves. State and federal law says a person can use reasonable force to defend against an attack I have never seen an age limit on that. I always taught my children to never use their fists or a weapon to solve a problem. I also told them they didn't have to take a beating from someone because the other person was to stupid and had to result to violents to get their point across. I have given at least 2 school children juvinile records for assaulting my children and their parents were investigated by DSS also. Yes my children could have taken anyone of them apart but they used restraint and came to me with the problems and I as an adult can do more and worse things than they can and it's all legal. There are times when you are backed into a corner and it's either fight to get out or get hurt and beaten and no one has to take that from anyone
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assult in school being ignored, need help

Submitted by Doreen (not verified) on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 5:30pm.
My daughter was assaulted in school. The school states that there were no witnesses to the fact. The student who assaulted my child had called us and admitted to the truth of the incident, but gave a different story to the school. I filed a complaint with the police in charge of the schools, the state school board, and the superintendent of school. You said that you had given at least 2 school children juvenile records for assaulting your children and their parents were investigated by DSS also. First I would like to know how to press assault charges so that the child who assaulted my child will have a record and the second thing I would like to know is what is DSS?
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