Wilmington couple shares struggle for marriage equality as Pride Month begins

The first of June marks the beginning of Pride Month, which is a time for members of the LGBTQ+ community to celebrate their identity.

WILMINGTON, NC (WWAY) — The first of June marks the beginning of Pride Month, which is a time for members of the LGBTQ+ community to celebrate their identity.

Pride is celebrated in June because of the Stonewall Riots in June of 1969 that were the catalyst to the gay rights movement. In honor of the month, Sandra Leigh is sharing her journey and what pride means to her.

Sandra Leigh and her wife Alana, or as she’s lovingly called “Lonnie,” have known each other for more than three decades. In those more than 30 years, they’ve been married four times.

The first two were domestic partnerships recognized by the City of San Francisco and the State of California. The third was in 2004 when then-San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom gave our marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

“There must have been 500, a thousand people waiting in line to get married all night long,” Leigh said. “This was a tremendously moving event for all of us.”

Then, about a month later, it was taken away after the California Supreme Court ordered a halt to the weddings. Later that year, the California Supreme Court voided all same-sex marriage licenses given out during that time period.

“I think we all kind of thought it was going to go away anyway…but it was a slap in the face,” Leigh said.

Finally, the two officially married in September of 2017 in New Hanover County after moving to the area to retire.

“It was nationally legal, locally legal, state legal, city legal. We’re legal!” Leigh said.

Before retiring, Leigh was an educator for 42 years and an integral piece in opening the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy in San Francisco. The school was named after Harvey Milk, who was the first openly gay man to run for public office in California. Milk was killed in 1978. Leigh was already a principal in the San Francisco Unified School District and advocated for the school to be named in Milk’s honor. For the last 13 years of her career, Leigh served as the principal of the academy.

The two decided to land in North Carolina because Leigh’s daughter, Lovenia, had settled down in Fayetteville. Lovenia recommended the two look into Wilmington. They found a home in their price range and Lovenia and her husband completely renovated it for them.

While North Carolina was much more affordable than California and closer to family, Leigh and her wife had a difficult time leaving their community in San Francisco. Fortunately, they found SAGE in Wilmington. SAGE stands for Services and Advocacy for LGBT Elders.

“It’s young and it’s trans and it’s old and it’s men and women and it’s diverse racially and it’s diverse gender…very diverse gender-wise,” Leigh said. “And it’s willing to come out and talk about things and take stands on things.”

While younger members of the community are growing up during a different time, what they are going through is not so different than what she and many others like her went through.

“Some of it is, I think particularly for non-binary or gender-fluid or trans-identifying young people, it’s not only hard personally but the environment of safety is very close to the edge,” Leigh said.

On top of having important conversations, Leigh says it’s just a wonderful group to be a part of. Whether it’s hosting cookouts, nights out, or fitness outings, it’s a great community. For Leigh and so many others, having a strong support system is massively important. Leigh says though some progress has been made in LGBTQ+ rights, there’s still a way to go.

“It’s a dangerous living in some ways, but it’s not something we all choose to do. It’s who we are,” Leigh said. “And so, society has to realize that the diversities in society are much more than skin deep. Maybe someday it’ll happen.”

Whether young or old, Leigh has a piece of advice for those who are fighting to embrace who they are.

“Oh it’s a struggle, but it’s worth it. It’s a struggle but it’s worth it. Be yourself,” Leigh said. “And happy gay pride.”