Public servant, friend, mom: Community honors life of New Hanover County Commissioner Deb Hays

NEW HANOVER COUNTY, NC (WWAY) — Hundreds of people gathered at Airlie Gardens on Wednesday afternoon to honor the life of Deb Hays.

Before remarks began, a line stretched the length of Bradley Creek Field at the gardens as people waited their turn to sign the guest book.

After beginning with a prayer from Pastor Doug Lain, Hays’ daughter Morgan Tucker took to the podium first. Through tears, she said while many knew Hays as a public servant, she knew her as mom. Though off to a tearful start, Tucker laughed as she remembered some essential pieces of advice her mother left with her.

“Number one, don’t call boys,” Tucker said. “Any boy worth talking to will call you first. Middle school me hated this rule, but as I’ve grown over the years I’ve come to appreciate how true it is and will be instituting the same rules in our house.”

Tucker went on and highlighted Hays’ lessons of making anything happen through hard work and positivity and loving unconditionally.

“Love is the most powerful connector in this world and my mom believed everyone was deserving of being loved,” Tucker said. “She cared about everyone she met and your presence here is the greatest embodiment of that.”

Following Tucker’s remarks, New Hanover County Board of Commissioners Chair Bill Rivenbark was next. He asked the crowd to raise their hand if Deb Hays ever straightened their tie, or collar, or told them where to stand. Several hands went up as people laughed. Rivenbark then tearfully remembered the last text message he received from Hays after an event downtown.

“As soon as it was over, I left. She sent me a text and said, ‘I’m sorry you got gone before I could give you a hug’,” Rivenbark said before walking back to his seat.

LeAnn Pierce, New Hanover County Board of Commissioners Vice Chair, remembered Hays for welcoming her with open arms to the board and helping her adjust to her new role. Highlighting her passion for service, Pierce said Hays was called home by God for another mission.

“I can only imagine that reunion when our Father held out His hands and said “Well done my good and faithful servant,” Pierce said.

After Pierce’s remarks, another commissioner Jonathan Barfield, Jr. took to the podium. He remembered Hays as a “mother hen” to many. Barfield shared several text messages sent to him by Hays where she was checking in on him, wishing him well, and sharing her love.

“Here’s someone that texts me over and over and over again just to see how I was doing, but I’m sure I’m not the only one,” Barfield said. “Deb, we’re going to miss you.”

Rob Zapple, the final commissioner, followed Barfield’s comments. He said he would give anything for Hays to stop him in the hallway asking for a minute to chat, but knowing the one minute would turn into 30, 60, or 90. Zapple admired her tenacity and hard work, which was driven by positivity.

“She could make anybody in this crowd and did make everybody in this crowd feel like they were 10 feet tall,” Zapple said. “She could light up a room, take over a room and make it happen. That’s a unique ability.”

County Manager Chris Coudriet spoke about how Airlie Gardens was the perfect place to honor Hays. He remembered her as a vibrant and bold spirit, dedicated to the community.

“Deb was the kind of civil servant you always hope and pray will lead your organization and serve your community,” Coudriet said.

Finally, Hays’ best friend Jane Dodd shared how Hays became like a big sister to her after they met in 2005 at Intracoastal Realty. Through great times or challenging times, Dodd said Hays was always there no matter what. The Thelma to her Louise, Dodd said Hays was known as “Mama D” to her boys.

“When I lost my father back in 2015, she was with me by his side. She held one hand and I held the other as he passed, to join his eternal savior,” Dodd said. “There are not many friends that will do that with you, and that was my friend Deb.”

The ceremony wrapped up with Hays’ loved ones gathering around a new live oak tree to be planted in her honor. As the service ended, each person in attendance had the opportunity to shovel the soil around the tree.

While Hays’ loved ones say they are certain her impacts will be felt for years to come, they want to make certain of it. That’s why, in lieu of flowers, the family has asked for donations to start the Deb Hays Foundation. The purpose of the foundation will be to support community projects in the New Hanover County area. To donate and for more information, visit here.